Dear Dr. Jim
Last night on TV I watched "Two and a Half Men" and the protagonist of the episode, Charlie Harper (played by Charlie Sheen) kept insisting that the older a woman gets the longer her ear lobes get. And, of course, that's why he doesn't want to date older women (He's around 40 and dates women in their 20s and 30s).
What I NEED to know is "Is it true?" Do women's ear lobes get longer as they age? This is a very important question to me. I don't want long, skinny, floppy ear lobes as I sail into my mature years or, rather, my maturer years. So far my ear lobes are firmish but I'm really scared. And if it's true that ear lobes sag, what does one do about it?
Is there a cream, or something to apply? Are there collagen injections for lobes? Is there some sort of surgery to tighten them? Please answer ASAP. I feel them stretching out as we speak!
Ms. Poet in Downstate
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Dear Ms. Poet
I am so glad you asked this question. Aging as it pertains to beauty may be the number one worry in the United States at the moment, just ahead of s*x, money, health, and politics.
A healthy outlook on aging will allow some worries about how we look in our older years, but an awfully lot of people get carried away. Fear of aging and its results often rises to the state of an unjustified phobia, called gerascophobia. Gerascophobic persons are prone to depression further compounding their situation.
All that is to let you know where I am coming from when I suggest you seek medical help. You must do this swiftly, procrastinating will see you soon shunning treatment that is needed.
I agree with you in that the earlobes do grow at older ages. I would suggest there are both medical and surgical treatments. You might read some of these references on-line (link). Especially appealing to me was an article on cosmetic surgery of "older patients who have a face-lift may choose to have their earlobes reduced at the same time because earlobes grow and stretch with aging, and may look out of proportion after a face-lift." (CNN.com 2002 cyber-article)
Some of these articles tell how the earlobes actually do grow in aging. When I read these, though, I felt you were not yet at this crucial age. And I did not find any plausible sounding crème to stop this growth.
By seeking professional help, even though there is no earlobe problem at your age, you will have a benchmark on the size of them while they still retain their normal beautiful length. Then by making periodic visits to your physician you can get accurate lobe growth rates and severity correlation when any growth does occur.
There is a bright side here. Have you noticed that older men tend to have very large noses and ears and other features from top to bottom, from their large balding head to their shoe sole like earlobes? Those men would trade for just having long earlobes and a little excess facial hair any day.
Problems of this sort often remind me of the old story of the fellow who lost twelve ugly pounds. How did he do it? He had his head cut off.
I hope I have helped a little in your situation. Aren't you glad you watched that TV program! Except for the hoped for growth preventative crèmes, you were on top of the problem here. Now you stay on top and go see your doctor very soon.
So, keep on keep'n on, and till then,
"Please ask your question or leave your comment now!"
(Just ask me and you will remain anonymous)
Submit question or comment in privacy now To read the rules and/or submit a question, click here.
(CLICK HERE NOW, I've read the rules.)
To leave a comment or non-private question, simply leave a comment below as usual.
Dear Dr. Jim
I'm having a problem with my Elmer, my cat. He is peeing on the furniture and all over the place, just hauls off and goes where he wants.
Last night was the last straw. I came home from the mall and guess what? He had peed on my jacket, my new and exotic Clara S. Zebra Jacket.
Now it smells to high Heaven. The cleaners say they can take out the stain but not the smell.
Annoyed by Elmer, Elma in Princeton
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Dear Annoyed
I can't stress to much here, the cat must stop it or go. He is creating a terribly unsanitary condition. You didn't say if you have kids but if you do they should be evacuated immediately! Cat pee in furniture is hazardous to health.
If he is going in just certain spots, you can try a good cat repellent. Most pet stores carry that. You have to spray every day in the places they go.
You might be interested in that I had a cat get into my pickup truck one night. That cat must have been drinking gallons. My leather jacket could not be redeemed, all her pee had saturated the lining. Your cleaner is right.
Another suggestion we used with a cat that kept climbing the draperies. That cat became an OUTSIDE CAT real fast!
"'Inappropriate elimination' is the No. 1 cat behavior problem. Betsy Lipscomb, founder of Cats International, a volunteer organization that provides free telephone counseling for desperate cat owners, told me that of the almost 5,000 calls she gets a year, nearly 90 percent are related to out-of-the-box soiling. It is the most common reason cats are turned in to shelters, where the likelihood is minuscule that a Persian cat who pees on the Persian carpet will find a new home." Me Against the Cat Pee By Emily Yoffe, Slate.
According to Ms. Lipscomb, having a clean and desirable litter box will solve 80% of the problems. Check it out to see if you are filling Elmer's bill here.
Incidentally, the Slate article is a rather old, but humorous, story about a cat who had Elmer's problems. I doubt if the article will help you much but a laugh always does some good some way.
I hope this has helped a little, why don't you try Google for more solutions.
I don't mean to scold, but had your jacket been hanging in the closet it would be fine today.
So, keep on keep'n on, and till then,
"Please ask your question or leave your comment now!"
(Just ask me and you will remain anonymous)
Submit question or comment in privacy now To read the rules and/or submit a question, click here.
(CLICK HERE NOW, I've read the rules.)
To leave a comment or non-private question, simply leave a comment below as usual. Cat Pee Pee Cat Advice Cat Advice
Antarctica Wave stuff is toward the bottom here.Dear Dr. Jim
My friend, let us call her Girl Friend, is loosing sleep. She says she is getting what she calls a "chick's ear." I have two problems with this.
First, she doesn't know how these words can be used and I certainly can't tell her how derogatory these words are towards her self image. These things are not spoken of around here. I think her friends are laughing at her behind her back.
The second is that her ears are very pretty, but she doesn't see them that way. She thinks they are too close to her head, like elf ears.
It may be her pillow is too hard, do you think that may be part of her problem?
At any rate please help me in know what to say to her about this and how perhaps I can help her.
Frustrated Boy Friend in Camden
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Dear Boy Friend
Wow! You guys both have quite a problem here! Have you ruled out that she may have a warped sense of body adoration? Please be honest with yourself and assess how you stand here. Then get to the root of any real problem as I relate a couple of possibilities below.
First let us address your first question about Chick's Ears. There are many definitions of this term. I relied on Google to help us all here (link to search chick's ear and elf's ear). I wouldn't use either one, Chick's Ear had many uses and doesn't explain much at all.
Elf's Ears on the other hand are flat, yes, but more on they seem to be romantic in nature. If I were to write a romance novel at this time, I certainly would have one of my main characters have these Elf's Ears. They are almost instant love, or love at first sight! I think Girl Friend would not like to be put in this spotlight either.
So, let's just say they are a little too flat. Now to look at the cause. First order could be hereditary, what do her parents and grandparents look like around the ears? In my unprofessional opinion, surgery only will correct this problem. Best to see her medical doctor.
The second leading cause is the improper use of the pillow. Approximately eighty-five percent of Americans use their pillow incorrectly. The ear should not lay ON THE PILLOW. Either sleep on the back or the stomach, doing this does much to help retain the structural integrity of the ear.
If Girl Friend insists on sleeping her side you might convince her to SLEEP DOWN ON THE PILLOW so her ear is off the pillow. I sleep this way myself.
If she can't seem to sleep this way, or moves up in her sleep, modification of the pillow is recommended. Cut an oval hole in the middle of the pillow, about five by three inches high and wide. She should lay her ear in the middle of this hole. A pillow case will keep others from noticing her strange looking pillow.
The principle of the hole in the pillow is that no head weight will be placed on the ear, allowing it to retain its natural shape. Additionally she should no long be awakened by a sore ear, sore from being held down. People with tail bone surgery and other medical problems have been using a similar cushion (hole in the middle) for ages. The same principle applies to the flat or sore ear, whichever.
I hope this helps you. Do not hesitate to see Girl Friend's medical doctor either.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
To the readers:
1. My ears had the opposite problem, they stuck out too far when I was born. For several years my mother taped my ears down. I now have normal ears. They may even be 'handsome.'
2. I have been researching some questions concerning instant freezing in the Artic. An e-mail has been circulating with 'photos.' The pictures appear to be hoaxes to me but none of the hoax sites even mention them.
Perhaps I am ahead of my time, soon enough people might ask at these hoax finder sites.
In the meantime I am inviting reader input. Do so in privacy here.Here is what I got:
"Subject: Fw: SURFS UP... Antarctica Wave"
"Make sure you see all the pictures. They are really incredible."
"This water froze the instant the wave broke through the ice. That's what it is like in Antarctica. Water freezes the instant it comes in contact with the air. The temperature of the water is already some degrees below freezing. Just look at how the wave froze in midair!"
Pictures (click on picture to enlarge):
So, keep on keep'n on, and till then,
"Please ask your question or leave your comment now!"
(Just ask me and you will remain anonymous)
Submit question or comment in privacy now To read the rules and/or submit a question, click here.
(CLICK HERE NOW, I've read the rules.)
To leave a comment or non-private question, simply leave a comment below as usual.
Dear Dr. Jim
I've been confused. For a long time I have wanted a Tiger for a pet. And a little cotton-tail rabbit. But the rabbits all run from me and I've heard lately of deaths from ferocious tigers.
Why aren't these animals nice, playful, and docile like my cats?
Oh yes, to help you, they were all couped up with Noah on that ark and he didn't have any problems with the wild animals.
Animal Lover Kate in Pretoria, Indiana
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Dear Kate
I would suggest you not have either of those animals, nor any other wild animal as pets.
Yes, they were with Noah. They were friends of his, they all coexisted very nicely. That was back then.
Modern wild animals, ever since they departed the ark, have an inherent fear of people. Let's look at that for a moment.
Did Noah eat them for food while on the ark? No. Noah and his family were vegetarians.
Then, it all hit the fan! God said: "Noah, you can eat these animals. They will be ok for food!" He further went on and said to the animals, "I want you to fear all people from now on, because they will kill you and eat you." (see note below)
From that day on it changed. The larger animals tried to retaliate, they would kill man if they could to protect themselves from being eaten. Those who couldn't harm man became afraid of him and would run.
So now you know why tigers kill and rabbits run when you get too close.
I hope this helped.
Notes: Genesis 9:2-3 (Bible):
2 The fear and dread of you will fall upon all the beasts of the earth and all the birds of the air, upon every creature that moves along the ground, and upon all the fish of the sea; they are given into your hands.
3 Everything that lives and moves will be food for you. Just as I gave you the green plants, I now give you everything. [The entire account of Noah and the ark, the animals, and the flood can be found in Genesis, Chapters 7, 8, and 9 (link)]
So, keep on keep'n on, and till then,
"Please ask your question or leave your comment now!"
(Just ask me and you will remain anonymous)
Submit question or comment in privacy now To read the rules and/or submit a question, click here.
(CLICK HERE NOW, I've read the rules.)
To leave a comment or non-private question, simply leave a comment below as usual.
Noah and the ark Animals Flood Noah's ark Tigers Vegetarian Ark Noah
Dear Dr. Jim
I have a terrible problem. It involves my dog, my lawyer, and a cockeyed judge. The lawyer must not be too good either.
So I see you are an attorney, or at least have a law degree. Perhaps you can tell me what to do.
My dog, Spoofy, is a lovely white Pekingese (pictures) but she ran away a few of months ago while we were in the park. I put ads in the papers, nailed signs on trees (got a ticket for doing that, cost me fifty bucks) and would sit in the park every day and call Spoofy.
One day, I hear Spoofy answering me with a sorrowful bark that only Spoofy can muster. Sure enough it was Spoofy with a little old lady in tow on a purple leash. Spoofy wanted to come over to me so bad, but the little old lady wouldn't let her.
I told her politely that this was my lost dog, Spoofy. The lady said "No way. This is Buffy, she has been my dog for ages, I bought her." Well, that was a lie, and she knew it. But she wouldn't let me have Spoofy. We actually ended up yelling at each other.
Now, to make a long story short, I found who she was and sued her in Small Claims Court to get little Spoofy back. My lawyer said I didn't need a lawyer in that court, but could I prove Spoofy was my dog? Well sure, she had this scar where she got hit by a car six years ago.
The court decided it was Spoofy, but said it was powerless to make this little old lady give her back. But not to mind, the law was firm in this area, and to my benefit.
Poop! My benefit was $125 as the value of a Pekingese nine years old. And the cockeyed judge made her pay me. I wasn't about to take that money, told them where to put it, and said I would appeal.
Poop again! My crazy and ill informed lawyer said I couldn't get the dog back but that I should have taken the money as that was the best I could get.
A very disturbed Spoofy Mama in Bean Town
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Dear Spoofy Mama
This is indeed a misfortunate situation. It is even worse that you can't get your little Spoofy back.
Here is the legal background from where-in-after the judge got his decision. If Spoofy had been stolen, for certain you could have had Spoofy back. And if the thief had hocked her, the pawn shop would have to give her back to you. Spoofy is (was) yours.
However, this is not the case. I talked with the judge and with your lawyer. They both agree the dog Spoofy ran away and was not stolen. The law here dates way back to the English law, before the Boston Tea Party. You know all about that as it happened there in Bean Town.
Run away dogs become the property of a person who bought them from their finder. You could have gotten her back from the finder. The generally accepted rule, "finders, keepers, losers weepers" only applies if the true owner can not be found.
However, if a person in good faith buys this property things lost from the finder, even if it might be a pet dog, the purchaser is now the true owner.
Think of it this way. If you buy something from someone, you want to believe it is yours. You paid good money for it. But you say, I am the owner, Spoofy is mine.
No more in the eyes of the law. There are two innocent parties here, you and the LOL (little old lady). Which is the MORE INNOCENT? You, who couldn't control your dog and let her run away, or the LOL who paid good money thinking she was honestly getting a nice dog lawfully?
Obviously, the LOL. I am sorry Spoofy Mama, but your lawyer and the judge are correct here.
A couple of things you might do. First would to see if a local TV reporter would put it on the news about what a bum deal you got and how much you love poor little Spoofy. Maybe public pressure will make the finder pay the LOL for a new dog and buy Spoofy back for you. If this had been a dog kennel for sure they wouldn't want this bad publicity.
Another idea. Make friends with the LOL. Ask her to forgive you for hollering at her. Tell her how much you really love little Spoofy and could you visit her now and then? At least you will get to see her. And since you didn't take the money, perhaps at some time the LOL will feel sorry for you and let Spoofy come back to you.
I hope this helps a little bit.
So, keep on keep'n on, and till then,
"Please ask your question or leave your comment now!"
(Just ask me and you will remain anonymous)
Submit question or comment in privacy now To read the rules and/or submit a question, click here.
(CLICK HERE NOW, I've read the rules.)
To leave a comment or non-private question, simply leave a comment below as usual.
Dear Dr. Jim
My sister gave my kids really crappy Christmas presents this year. We all draw names and the minimum was $50; however, they gave him a $5 gift card to McDonald's.
How do I handle the response to this? We bought their child a Wii game that was well over $50 with tax. Please let me know your opinion. I have googled your blog and it seems like you give honest responses to people's questions.
Thank you for the response, in advance.
Warmest Regards,
Trying Not To Be a Scrooge!
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Dear Trying
This is a common situation at Christmas or birthday giving time. Both of these situations then can be categorized for advice and adaptation purposes as Inequitable Gifting Syndrome, or IGS. There is a short answer and a long reply to your situation.
The short answer, and I am assuming it is your son's response that is bothering you, is to withdraw from the gifting. Your sister for some reason must feel that $5.00 is quite adequate for her nieces and nephews.
Best would be to leave it like that and with no remarks of sarcasm or hurtful conduct so as to cause any further family friction than may be underlying here.
Also, to treat this scientifically, instead of withdrawing, you would want to rely upon advice of paid professionals such as medical doctors or psychologists trained in family counseling. I am not one of these, merely an experienced problem column writer.
That said, I did do a fairly detailed analysis of your family's situation which is much too lengthy to put here. It is now in my archives, click here if you care to read it. I might warn you, it can be quite boring.And thank you for telling of your respect for opinions given here in the past.
So, keep on keep'n on, and till then,
"Please ask your question or leave your comment now!"
(Just ask me and you will remain anonymous)
Submit question or comment in privacy now To read the rules and/or submit a question, click here.
(CLICK HERE NOW, I've read the rules.)
To leave a comment or non-private question, simply leave a comment below as usual.
