Dear Dr. Jim
I hate to tell you this for fear that someone I know may recognize me. But I have no place else to turn.
My fiancé insists up on kissing Santa at the Malls.
I've tried everything with her, even try to tell her that they are paid guys, not the real Santa. These guys get their pay for sitting there to entice the little children into telling their Christmas wishes within the hearing range of their parents.
Even when it is an outlandish gift they want Santa to bring, kids will spill the beans to Santa. They would be afraid the parents would ridicule them, chastise them, or other ilks of this sort.
So how do I get her to stop kissing that guy. I don't like it, it may ruin our marriage to become.
Embarrassed Samuel in Ohio
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Dear Samuel
Have a heart. Your fiancé is only finishing out her youthful fantasises.
I would guess that when she was small Santa snubbed her or she was deprived of seeing him. She has to work this out of her system.
Then too, she may still believe deep in her heart that this is the real Santa just getting around all over like he does on Christmas night. It is simply magic the way he operates.
You could help her to grow up.
First, change your name to 'Sam'. Samuel is a child's name who still acts like a little boy. Change it to Sam and YOU grow up.
Then listen to what she has to say to Santa. Talk to her afterwards about her wishes if she has voiced them to him. She may not tell him anything, she may really like to kiss him. Then talk her concerning her feelings towards Santa. Some big girls and grown women do think he is cute.
I myself get pats and kisses from strangers, women, mostly because of my beard and my handsome looks. Sometimes they ask me if they should know me. Most times they are thinking of a movie star, sometimes an attorney or politician they have seen on TV.
If a thing like this bothers you so much as to be reason for you to back out of getting married I cringe. Then you for sure are not ready to get married and should not get married. Period.
One other thing, are you jealous of these guys getting kisses from your fiancé? If so, then again you are not ready for marriage. Kissing Santa is like kissing Dad. Does it bother you when she kisses her father? Think about this for a while.
Hope this helps, Dr. Jim
A tidbit here. I believed in Santa until I was ready to enter high school. The Christmas of my eighth grade when sitting beside Santa (I was to heavy for his lap by then) Santa himself let me know who he really was.
He asked me how I like playing down at his pond across the road from our farm, where the creek runs through both farms. I was flabbergasted but later it got me to thinking. I am sure he was not the real Santa now because of that incident.
Dr. Jim
So, keep on keep'n on, and till then,
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9 comments:
good advice jim, for once i don't have anything to add except that in my childhood i got to sit on mrs. santa's lap just before i got a pop gun that shoots corks at little pop up figures from santa
Jim, better advice would have been to tell the guy to get himself some red satin boxer shorts and grow a beard if he doesn't have one already and dye his hair and beard white.
What a honeymoon he would have....
Ray here.
Today's children have grown highly sophisticated and knowledgeable through movies and television. Beyond infancy, children are no longer gullible about Santa.
And this woman may be kissing Santas for attention.
A certain peronality, called "hysterical"--and much more prevalent in women than in men--lives for attention. She flaunts her beauty to get it. She is likely highly intelligent, romantic, and imaginative. She acts spoiled, and often will engage in affairs outside her marriage.
If this is her personality type, these cute little kisses she's giving Santa are a ploy for attention--from him as well as from the adoring crowd watching her. ("Oh, how cute," she likes to hear them say.)
These women, while cute when young, receive less and less attention as they age. They grow restless for it. So when older, they seek it through innapproprate means. They wear revealing clothing and excessive make-up; they laugh loudly; they flirt and engage in affairs--all desperate means for recouping the attention lavished them when young.
And if this woman is this inconsiderate of her husband's wishes before they are married, think how much disregard she will show him after they are married. In her mind, this relationship is all about her and not him: attention for her, little regard for him.
I dare ask: Does she even love him to flaunt this behavior in front of him?
my comment for ray here is this....maybe all that complicated stuff about her pesonnality is all foooyeee...maybe there really is a santa virginga and she wants to make sure to get on santa's good side so she can get all that loot
I'm with Putz, she could believe in Santa. Some adults have problems that way. I think subconsciously they just plain don't want to give him up.
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Well, I think the Santa-kissing lady doesn't believe in Santa at all. I'm with Ray on this one. And her fiance ought to run for his life or go along with the gag, depending on how badly he thinks he needs to be with this particular girl.
Nobody is perfect. All of us have quirks. My mother used to say, "Everyone is crazy except me and thee, and even thee is a little bit crazy."
Dr. Jim, I have given you an award. Come on over to my blog and collect it!
Thank you, Rhymes... for the nice award. I'm not sure this blog deserves it but thank you, thank you, thank you.
I'll stick it on here soon to display.
Mr. Putz got one too.
Ray, I can't remember your secret blog name.
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Ray here.
My blog ain't up and running yet.
Waiting on the U.S.of A. Copyright Office.
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