Husband has a belittling job says wife

Dear Dr. Jim

I am at odds about my used-to-be retired husband, Mr. Tom. He taken a job at a discount department store.

Really I don't care if he works to make extra money or to get out of the house for a break.

The trouble with this job is that it is beneath his education and qualifications. Mr. Tom has a bachelors degree in chemical engineering and has worked 47 years with a major petroleum company.

Mr. Tom isn't doing engineering. He is greeting customers and handing them basket carts. His favorite task is checking in the articles that the customers bring in for a refund or exchange.

One customer actually spit on Mr. Tom when he tried to put a yellow 'return' sticker on his new wrist watch.

This job of his is very humiliating for me. My friends tease me about the minimum wage job he has and also some call him a "cart pusher" at the XYZ store. Several of them now avoid me and look the other way if we pass on the street.

I cannot change his mind.

Helpless Mrs. Tom in a small town

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Dear Mrs. Tom

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I hate it that you are feeling helpless. I have several very rich friends who are taking minimum wage jobs. Those are fairly plentiful for the older retired men. Ladies' jobs are harder to find.

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Most likely Mr. Tom resents your needling him which I believe that you are doing to him. It is too bad that your friends are acting their snobbish ways.

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My recommendation for you is that you stop asking him to quit and get yourself some activities. They needn't be wage earning for pay.

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Volunteers are needed in the schools, nursing homes, senior citizen residences, restaurants, and in churches among many other places.

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If you were to busy yourself in an outside activity then you would meet new friends from other walks of life and social status. Many of them would admire your husband's fortitude in taking a simple job which keeps him busy and enables him to meet and help many needing people.

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I hope this helps, Dr. Jim

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An aside. I have several friends with more unique type jobs. One works at a golf course as a starter or a marshall. He enjoys this job very much.

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Another works at funerals. The mortuaries don't want too many people on the permanent employee payroll due to the high price of benefits. If you husband has declined the XYZ benefits then part time won't be a problem.

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Just sayin', Dr. Jim

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Husband wants to get a kitten as a gift for his wife

Dear Dr. Jim

I am considering getting my wife a kitten for our first anniversary.

Do you think this is an appropriate gift? She has been begging for us to get a kitty-cat.

I'd like a Calico Cat but I think she wants a jet black Halloween Scaredy Cat.

Other than for the selection bit I think we will both be happy with this. I might just get one and surprise her.

Thinking I'm a Cat Lover,
Gavin in Piccolos

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Dear Wanna Be Cat Loven' Gavin

Hi Gavin. This is a very appropriate question that I've been asked several times now. My suggestion to you is to give her something that YOU BOTH WANT at the moment. Here, her love for animals (I assume you are certain she wants a kitty cat) may not last for your entire marriage.

I do hope that you can find a nice cat and that your bride will love it dearly. I hope she still loves you dearly too. Caveat here, do this before the honeymoon is over! Your timing is perfect!

On the selection, I'd give her a gift certificate for the amount of a cat and care items from a reputable pet store. If you might find another source, or a free cat, you can always use the gift certificate for food and supplies for a year or so.

Remember, "Free cats don't stay free for very long." That is my rule, as you will have bigger vet and food bills than the cost of a cat in a very short while.

We've been married for 38 years now. Mrs. Jim's Rule # 109:
If it dies or leaves home it won't be replaced and it can't come back. THAT INCLUDES ME!

Does her rule work? Since she made it a dog and a cat have died and weren't replaced. We gave the goldfish away and it cant' come back and won't be replaced.
Since her rule went into effect the only new (to us) animals are:
1) Adi, our beagle--she was our daughter's dog and her new apartment wouldn't let her have beagles;
2) Katrin, our toy poodle--she was willed to us by a dying friend. The friend actually changed her will to say this. With big tears, she asked Mrs. Jim, "You won't give Katrin away, will you?" We've had one real good chance to give Katrin away to one of our kids but Mrs. Jim remembered her promise(s).
3) Amber, our cat--she was our daughter's cat but was too old to move with them to London.
4) Every one of the kids has stayed with us for from two weeks to six month's. Our favorite plea was "Don't worry about where I will live. I can sleep in my car." He only stayed about a month.

About caring for your new cat:

If she hasn't had a kitten before and especially if neighbor of you have, I would suggest a book, Kittens for Dummies, to help you guys with day-to-day care and loving tips. Right now it is selling for $11.55 at Amazon.com (link).

We use 'clumping' kitty litter and really like it. All the pee collects into a lump about the size of a fritter. Cleaning the box is so easy then, just use a filter-bottomed little sand shovel and lift them out along with the poops.

I hope this helps you a lot,
Dr. Jim
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Reader doesn't trust coin dealers

Dear Dr. Jim

Dr. Jim, I have a problem. I have this little suitcase, slightly larger than your ordinary carry-on bag, full of old coins.

My concern is that I don't know where to turn now that I want to redeem them. I just don't trust the coin dealers I have found.

Most of them seem pretty shady, their ads look like an open bid for larceny.

Please, please, Dr. Jim, tell me what to do. I am sure that my coins are worth hundreds of thousands of dollars.

Suspicious in Toronto, Jack

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Dear SiT Jack

I had to laugh a little at your name, Jack. Like you are a "sitting duck," only a "SiTting Jack," for those nasty coin dealers!

Well Jack, I don't blame you for being suspicious. An awfully lot of them will rip you blind. They will underpay you every time. What you want is one who will be a collector for them and who will PAY YOU RETAIL VALUE.

This is the big rip-off in the coin business. You buy high at RETAIL and sell low at WHOLESALE. Then the dealer makes his huge profit, more than half of that rightfully and ethically should be your gain, not his!

The obvious way to change this scenario is to deal with a lady. Then it would now be a 'he' who is ripping you, rather a 'she.' But believe me, those women are even more crafty than the men! They get you coming and going.

So if I were you, I would just keep them. If you need the money and if they really are worth the hundreds of thousands like you think, go to an honest bank (is that an oxymoron ??) and TAKE A LOAN using them as collateral. The bank will want to keep the coins as they do when they give loans on jewelery.

This way you will have your money and spend it too. When you can't repay your loan then go into default. I promise you that you will make more off a deal like this than going to a coin dealer who will rip you off.

Most times the only way to do better is to find an honest and ethical coin dealer. These are hard to find but there are some. Unfortunately I can't figure out how to tell one. They are all wearing sheep's clothing as they say.

Jack, I do hope that I have helped you some.

Dr. Jim


So, keep on keep'n on, and till then,"Please ask your question or leave your comment now!"(Just ask me and you will remain anonymous)Submit question or comment in privacy now To read the rules and/or submit a question, click here.(CLICK HERE NOW, I've read the rules.)To leave a comment or non-private question, simply leave a comment below as usual.