Husband has a belittling job says wife

Dear Dr. Jim

I am at odds about my used-to-be retired husband, Mr. Tom. He taken a job at a discount department store.

Really I don't care if he works to make extra money or to get out of the house for a break.

The trouble with this job is that it is beneath his education and qualifications. Mr. Tom has a bachelors degree in chemical engineering and has worked 47 years with a major petroleum company.

Mr. Tom isn't doing engineering. He is greeting customers and handing them basket carts. His favorite task is checking in the articles that the customers bring in for a refund or exchange.

One customer actually spit on Mr. Tom when he tried to put a yellow 'return' sticker on his new wrist watch.

This job of his is very humiliating for me. My friends tease me about the minimum wage job he has and also some call him a "cart pusher" at the XYZ store. Several of them now avoid me and look the other way if we pass on the street.

I cannot change his mind.

Helpless Mrs. Tom in a small town

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Dear Mrs. Tom

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I hate it that you are feeling helpless. I have several very rich friends who are taking minimum wage jobs. Those are fairly plentiful for the older retired men. Ladies' jobs are harder to find.

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Most likely Mr. Tom resents your needling him which I believe that you are doing to him. It is too bad that your friends are acting their snobbish ways.

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My recommendation for you is that you stop asking him to quit and get yourself some activities. They needn't be wage earning for pay.

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Volunteers are needed in the schools, nursing homes, senior citizen residences, restaurants, and in churches among many other places.

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If you were to busy yourself in an outside activity then you would meet new friends from other walks of life and social status. Many of them would admire your husband's fortitude in taking a simple job which keeps him busy and enables him to meet and help many needing people.

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I hope this helps, Dr. Jim

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An aside. I have several friends with more unique type jobs. One works at a golf course as a starter or a marshall. He enjoys this job very much.

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Another works at funerals. The mortuaries don't want too many people on the permanent employee payroll due to the high price of benefits. If you husband has declined the XYZ benefits then part time won't be a problem.

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Just sayin', Dr. Jim

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