Dear Dr. Jim
This is very simple, but I need an answer fast!
My wife is leaving me and she wants most of our stuff. What can she have? To be nice I have let her have the seven kids, but now she want so much more.
Looking to be single, Pat in Woe Land
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Dear Pat
Guy, bone up! Any wife that has seven kids is deserving a loving husband, for sure you probably were mainly thinking of only one kind of love. [Hint: read 'the five kinds of love' (link) and try always in your relationships to maintain the proper balance of these]
It isn't too late to change, but I doubt your wife will come back. So, try to love her for the person she is, the mother of those seven kids, and don't cause any grief.
Start first in a loving manner (remember, the kids will benefit too) by giving her most of your worldly possessions. With seven kids the judge won't let you keep much anyway.
My best advice is for you both to have a good lawyer. Come to an agreement quickly, don't run up your legal fees over 'stuff' arguments.
Here is a list of things most women let the husband have, followed by my experience for each:
1. The dog or other pet. I didn't get either!
2. Your car or truck. I did get that, it was a '62 VW bug. She got the nice station wagon (remember it is for the kids too!).
3. The debts and bills. I got all of those, most credit cards were maxed and the store cards had high balances. I did get them all paid off, you can too.
4. The TV. Yes, I got the old one out in the garage.
5. Your tools. I got those.
6. Your ring. I had lost my ring in Dam B Lake (link) several years before. 'Nuf said.
This list came from a TV program, but it was a survey of 100 women and gives a fairly accurate idea of the generous thinking of those ladies.
Think about things, be realistic and loving still (but rebalance those five kinds of love now since you won't be married any more--i.e. nil on the Eros) and best of all, GET HAPPY and move to Happy Land, which is far away from your Woe Land.
I hope this helps, always,
Dr. Jim
So, keep on keep'n on, and till then,
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Dear Dr. Jim
My husband and I are having a disagreement. I'm trying to raise up my kid like a little southern gentleman but my husband isn't much help.
I could go on and on about the faults on my list that my old geezer has, but I'll only name a few that are appropriate for my question today:
1. he was born in Ohio. There is nothing southern about Ohio so how would he know anything about anything southern in the first place?
2. he is an ignorant old cuss. He only went to the sixth grade and that was because his grandma would whip him if he stayed home; and
3. he cusses a lot. Southern gentlemen revere everything sacred and don't hardly even say H*ll or d*ng. He says both of these and won't even fly the southern flag for me.
I hope this gives you a hint of what I'm going through. We moved here from Boston and I just want my boy to have all the advantages we don't have. People actually are calling us Yankees to our faces.
Rebeca, now from Charleston
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Dear Rebeca
I have been checking into your situation, this is BIG STUFF!
First, you will never fit into the Charleston scene as a Charlestonite, you have to be born there of a native family stock to be a genuine Charlestonite. This lets your son out of that too, regardless of his behavior.
Your son may fit in a little better if when he marries, he can marry a Charlestonite. Although he will be a second class Charlestonite, that is almost as good as being the genuine Charlestonite as long as he stays married.
Your son will pick up some of those nice southern qualities if he hangs around those nice southern boys and put up with their guff. No gangs, no rowdies, none of anything like that.
He should learn to dance the waltz, address every lady as Ma'am, and in general be nice to the ladies. His dress should be fancy and 'Southern.'
Add to the list above, NEVER CUSS! That would help your hubby a lot right there.
And flying the southern flag would not be wanted, ever, from a Boston guy.
You might see what the now defunct Yahoo! Answers has to say about southern gentlemen (link). Stay away from Eric Clapton (YouTube link).
I hope this helps.
As always,
Dr. Jim
p.s. A lot of real Southern Men were whipped by their grandmas when they were little. Can your mother visit often? . Keep on, Dr. Jim
So, keep on keep'n on, and till then,
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Dear Dr. Jim
Just a curiosity question for you, why do squirrels have bushy tails?
I hope you can help me.
Curious Georgette in Georgia
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Dear Curious George
I don't know but what this is a trick question. At any rate the answer is fairly easy.
For this, I refer to Webster:
Squirrel: "any of various small or medium-sized rodents (family Sciuridae, the squirrel family) ... as any of numerous New or Old World arboreal forms having a long bushy tail and strong hind legs"
Then, by definition, the varmint would not be a squirrel without its bushy tail (and strong hind legs).
And if you were serious,
I hope this helps,
Dr. Jim
So, keep on keep'n on, and till then,
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Dear Dr. Jim
I was in the Office Outpost office supply store yesterday and overheard the sales clerk talking with a customer.
He stated that the battery in the lap top computer the man was thinking of buying should be disconnected when charged and the computer was on AC power from the plug.
My husband says that is all malarkey as the new NiCad technology used in the rechargeable batteries can be left plugged in all the time.
Who is correct?
Scared To Not Pull the Plug, Tabby in Hoboken
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Dear Scared To Not Pull
You husband is almost correct this time. There was a time when lap tops used NiCad rechargeable batteries. They developed a memory as to where 'total discharge' was. Invariably this was wherever the batteries were charged from the last time.
Modern laptop batteries are Lithium Ion (LiIon) and will not be significantly overcharged and will not develop a memory if allowed to charge fully after battery operation.
They are very much subject to overcharging, but the modern lap top has electronic circuitry to carefully keep the batteries at optimum performance and prevent overcharging. LiIon's are not subject to memory characteristics to a great extent. [Reference link]
Periodically this circuitry needs to be recalibrated. Check your computer manual for the procedure on this or call the appropriate tech support line for your lap top. The above reference gives generic directions for the recalibrating effort.
You might do that store a favor by telling them and e-mailing them with this. And a copy of this Ask Dr. Jim (blog) session.
I hope this helped,
Dr. Jim
Some other battery tidbits:
°°°°Each computer is engineered for a certain battery. You should not place just any old battery that will fit into your computer. Buy what the lap top manufacturer requires.
°°°°Be sure to buy lithium ion batteries for your digital camera, most are AA cells. You should also get a charger made especially for the LiIon batteries.
°°°°[Here is a link for you Toyota Prious owners about overcharging your battery. It won't happen.]
So, keep on keep'n on, and till then,
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