Wednesday, March 24, 2010

How to find a lost person -- smitten Ed wants to know

Dear Dr. Jim

I hope I haven't done anything wrong. Yesterday I befriended a lady on the elevator. She was a strange lady to me as I did not know her.

She was also strange in that there was an attraction which I could not account for.

I will call her Ms. Xy. Ms. Xy was acting a little bothered with a worried look on her face. I asked her if she were new in the city. She answered that she was and that was exactly her problem.

Houston, she said, does not have the mass transit she was used to in her city. She had come to our excellent medical center and now after being assured she was in good health she felt all alone with a bunch of cowboys and rednecks. Even the ladies spoke in a crass manner.

Wow, I thought, this is a bag of worms. There is nothing I could help here.

So I didn't try. Instead I asked her if she had visited our Montrose area. She had not been aware of this place so I suggested we visit there a little. We ended up at the Backstreet Cafe for some coffee and pastry.

We both proceeded to enjoy an afternoon of diversion in this trendy area away from the rest of Cowboy City. That evening I dropped her off at the airport and that was the last we saw each other.

This all sounds okay, but the problem is that I have lost her address and e-mail info. I believe it was in the trash I threw out when I cleaned up the car before going into the drugstore that day.

Our arrangement was for me to contact Ms. Xy giving her my address, etc. So all is lost unless you have some ideas.

Smitten by good, then the bad, Ed

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Dear Ed

I do empathize with you. This indeed is a sad predicament as I can can tell you were almost to the point of infatuation with Ms. Xy. Even more so sad if there were two sided, mutual, feelings.

My first bit of advice is to not sit still. Try all of the ideas I am suggesting and be sure to weigh some that readers may suggest. Be careful if you have some ideas of your own. Try sounding them with a confidant before you do anything rash. You don't want to ruin everything.

First, Google her name. You would be overjoyed to see that she comes up on Facebook, MySpace, or has a blog. Often times Google will present a name, phone number, and address.

Next enter her name in Yahoo People search (link). Then try the White Pages (link). Both of these are free although White Pages has a hangup on wanting you to join. I joined but did not furnish my profile. That seems to have ended the hangups. Hopefully she will be trying these ideas herself.

Be thinking of organizations she belongs to, like a church or sorority, or her employer. If you can remember any of these contact them and ask them to leave a message from you to her. Ask her to contact you, explaining with a little fib that you had her phone number (or e-mail) wrong.

Do not ask to speak to her right off as they may get wrong ideas. Better, in the case she might be married or the like, mail her at the work or school, etc, address pleading your case and asking for her numbers again. Or to call you if that would be appropriate.

As a last resort, if you know who her doctor was, ask that they mail your note to her. Be sure to explain everything so they will know that your motives are pure. Under the Privacy Act they cannot give you any information about her.

I hope this helps. Please come here regularly to see readers' ideas as some are pretty good.

Dr. Jim.

So, keep on keep'n on, and till then,
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Ray said...

1. Do you know what city and state she lives in? If she owns property, you may be able to find her through her county tax records. Online, you might be able to find the county her city rests in and see what property addresses listed in her name come up. I know you can do this in Harris County (HCAD, or Harris County Appraisal District)

2. Zaba search ( is wonderful. Type in her name (and middle intitial and state, if you know them) and find addresses and phone numbers that might be hers. My info's in there, along with my son's and spouse's. But my former adresses, along with their phone numbers, are also listed. So you'll have some sorting to do, maybe try calling a few.

3. Goolgle "how to find anyone." Several websites will come up. Here's a good one:

4. I once read a book in our public library written by a detective about how to find people. I don't remember what it advised, but that kind of information is out there.

Jim said...

Ray has given some pretty good advice here. Thank you Ray.
The Harris Country she is talking about is in Texas. Most other states have similar real estate property records Online. These are a matter of public record in EVERY state but may not necessarily be on the Web.

rhymeswithplague said...

First of all, Dr. Jim, I think you meant "empathize" and not "emphasize"...

Ed, you have the makings of a great novel here and possibly a blockbuster movie. Maybe even a TV reality series. Take copious notes and start a storyboard as soon as possible.

Jim said...

Thank you, RWP, I don't know what happened there. I think I will blame it on Spell Checker. As Ray is my hardest writing critic, I am surprised that she didn't pick up on that one!

So you think it would sell, huh? Ed, did you hear that? For sure it beats some that I have seen or read. That would be making lemonade out of having too many lemons.

Seriously it seems like a good idea. Foremost I am hoping that you will find your new friend again.

Putz said...

i think you meant empahsize and not the other that ray and rhymes with mentioned>>>they are not i reapeat not exspurts in spelling not i say>>>

rhymeswithplague said...

I just came across Putz's last comment. He is flat out wrong. I *am* an exspurt.

When I used to teach new computer systems to students in our company's far-flung empire, the first thing I always said was that there were two definitions of an expert: first, anyone more than fifty miles from home carrying a briefcase, and second, broken down into its component parts, an "ex" is a has-been and a "spurt" is a drip under pressure. I am most definitely an ex-spurt (a has-been drip under pressure). This time even Putz's spelling is perfect!

Jingle said...

complex case...
Good luck!