Dear Dr. Jim
My husband and I are having a disagreement. I'm trying to raise up my kid like a little southern gentleman but my husband isn't much help.
I could go on and on about the faults on my list that my old geezer has, but I'll only name a few that are appropriate for my question today:
1. he was born in Ohio. There is nothing southern about Ohio so how would he know anything about anything southern in the first place?
2. he is an ignorant old cuss. He only went to the sixth grade and that was because his grandma would whip him if he stayed home; and
3. he cusses a lot. Southern gentlemen revere everything sacred and don't hardly even say H*ll or d*ng. He says both of these and won't even fly the southern flag for me.
I hope this gives you a hint of what I'm going through. We moved here from Boston and I just want my boy to have all the advantages we don't have. People actually are calling us Yankees to our faces.
Rebeca, now from Charleston
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Dear Rebeca
I have been checking into your situation, this is BIG STUFF!
First, you will never fit into the Charleston scene as a Charlestonite, you have to be born there of a native family stock to be a genuine Charlestonite. This lets your son out of that too, regardless of his behavior.
Your son may fit in a little better if when he marries, he can marry a Charlestonite. Although he will be a second class Charlestonite, that is almost as good as being the genuine Charlestonite as long as he stays married.
Your son will pick up some of those nice southern qualities if he hangs around those nice southern boys and put up with their guff. No gangs, no rowdies, none of anything like that.
He should learn to dance the waltz, address every lady as Ma'am, and in general be nice to the ladies. His dress should be fancy and 'Southern.'
Add to the list above, NEVER CUSS! That would help your hubby a lot right there.
And flying the southern flag would not be wanted, ever, from a Boston guy.
You might see what the now defunct Yahoo! Answers has to say about southern gentlemen (link). Stay away from Eric Clapton (YouTube link).
I hope this helps.
As always,
Dr. Jim
p.s. A lot of real Southern Men were whipped by their grandmas when they were little. Can your mother visit often? . Keep on, Dr. Jim
So, keep on keep'n on, and till then,
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5 comments:
i think it is commendable that wife's try to make over their husbands, every male appreciates a good woman setting down the rules of his behavior...no cussing, smell right, sit proper, make him the way you want him and hope he never strays
hello dr,,
How 'bout raising him just a gentleman, and not a "southern" gentleman, so that he won't have to fly the southern flag?
Hey there Anon! Please check the links on this blog about 'Southern Gentlemen' and you will see they are so much more well-mannered than any other fellow, even the finest gentlemen in high society.
Try one, you would like one!
Like we say in Texas, "If you don't have an oil well, get one."
..
BTW, don't get uptight about the flag either, there is no such thing as a "southern flag."
I just didn't want to burst her bubble on that little item, she has big problems anyway!
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i think you all dont give yanks enough credit first of all
i liked before im from Ohio and having southern pride is a amendable quality and wanting your lil boy to be like the stereotypical southern gent is alright but your american north or south everyone has good and bad qauities even these 'gentleman' you all seem to reveire (sp?) so much but raise your boy to be a gentleman hes not southern or northern HES A AMERICAN grow up and act your age geography shouldnt come into how you raise a child expect for this nation ALL of it is our home
raise a American flag
morals (such as not cussing) family (which is you AND the fathers ancestry) life lessons etc etc are things he SHOULD be learning...sadly all just my opinion hate me or love me for it means very little to me
o and p.s i hope you dont mess this kid by forceing him with what seems will lead up to you wanting him to be perfect in the future hes a boy boys are rowdy he will cuss will get out of line and wont be your perfect gentleman itll make him the man hes to become just set your standards at a acceptable level and be understanding he'll be the well mannered young man you want (with our not southern Ohio blood in him even ahh people are so funny with there unrealistic beliefs)
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