Dear Dr. Jim
Please, Dr. Jim, I need help FAST!
My husband has uncontrollable rage when he gets on his computer and uses the Internet with his (sic) glob.
He is prone to violent 'madness,' the doctor and I made him stop driving because he had the worst case of road rage ever. It is a wonder no one got killed then.
I am open to any suggestions.
Harried Wife in Kudzu Tennessee
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Dear H. W.
I feel really sorry for your predicament, but more sorrowfully yet for your dear hubby. Having rage is like being an alcholic or having cancer, one can control it but it can never be cured.
He is working with BLOGS, not GLOBS. Blogs are mainly a social network of online friends, some are political (or other favorite cause like religion, etc) in nature. Actually Ask Dr. Jim (blog) is a blog.
Let's get to it.
First, is he ever violent towards you? You don't seem worried but if it happens leave immediately until you two get professional help.
Second, I am a firm believer that there is such a thing as BLOG RAGE. This is a relatively new phenomenon, mainly because blogs are so new.
Third, you should consult a professional again, probably the one he trusts who worked with you both in the road rage situation.
Fourth, I believe you and the doctor may have to take away the keys to his computer (literally there aren't keys, so cut the plug off) of his computer away from him like you did the car.
Fifth, please read some online items about the newest of rages, blog rage (click here). I have found about 6,780 articles for you and the other readers. [For some articles about controlling road rage, click here.]
Please get action very soon before someone does get hurt.
Dr. Jim.
p.s. H. W, you are invited to keep on reading stuff on your computer, it is a wonderful learning tool. Perhaps this drastic action I suggested may not be necessary or at least not be permanent. Leave that to the doctor/professional.
Writing the blog(s) helps him keep his mind going, just pray he gets it going in the right direction. Dr. Jim
So, keep on keep'n on, and till then,
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5 comments:
Ray here.
I have a similar problem. So I researched it. Here's what I found underlies mine:
1. a low frustration tolerance.
2. feeling slighted by people. (This stems from low self-esteem.)
Hi Ray, this is a problem so many face. And I think you hit it (nail) on the head with your first, a low frustration tolerance.
That isn't necessarily a bad trait to have, in fact most who have really succeeded in life are blessed with this together with a high expectation of others level.
Those who can control rage if any exist will go a lot further but there are so many executives who do not control their rage.
This in turn leads to frustrated employees, I have seen them crying by the dozen when their boss is on a tirade. Not good in the long run, ever.
..
Ray, I congratulate you with having dealt with a similar problem, it sounds like you have it pretty well under control.
Now you can work on your self-esteem. Find out how to boost it since you know it can lead to rage.
Please evaluate your accomplishments objectively, i.e. in the eyes and shoes of others. You may be doing superbly and not realize it. Practice being proud of your accomplishments, whether they are large or small.
I now wish to further address the second issue your research has shown, 'feeling slighted by people' stemming from low self-esteem.
The feeling of being slighted can also result from having an excessively high expectation of someone devoting an unusual amount of attention to the raging person. (Mrs. Jim, my Social Worker assistant, has a name for this; essentially it is a manipulative control maneuver, the name of which escapes me.)
I suggest this is a super elevated ego, which is the opposite of low self-esteem with its accompanying very low ego. (Ego here being the feeling of self-worth level in the person's personality makeup.)
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actually i have had experience with this situation....roda rage aka road rage has been linked with internet violence....those who get stuck on a blog are like those who get stuck in traffic...i have seen laptops goe out of windows and i have seen cars go out of highways..it is not a low frustration tolerance, in facr it is just the opposite...those whio have patience like me have been first to abdond their cars the soonest
I'm 'gonna Love reading this blog!!!hahahaha...Thanks!!
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