Tuesday, August 5, 2008
Nobody likes me, everybody hates me
Dear Dr. Jim
Everybody hates me. I just know that. And I have been knowing it for quite a while.
I think it started when I was a smart eliki (sic) kid in grade school. The teachers would beat me with a yard stick. The other kids all made fun of me.
Then I would cuss them all out and a bunch of them would hold me down and wash my mouth with soap.
It has gone from that bad to much worse now. Not with teachers but with the relatives and the few friends I used to have. Of course they don't beat me but they do avoid me.
Even my wife of thirteen years left last year. I am not abusive, physically or verbally. I just don't understand it.
Help me, Dr. Jim, please
Mr. Whak Johnson in Johnson City
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Dear Mr. Johnson
I think I can help you but you will have to help too.
Smart-alack kids generally generate animosity all around. Perhaps your parents defended you? Or even encouraged your behavior? Maybe you didn't start that way, but were incorrectly blamed.
It would be hard for you to know why you had that label but it seemed to have stuck with you. That is too bad, but not insurmountable even at an older age (I note you call yourself "Mr.").
Living in Johnson City is hard for you, were your early relatives the founders? If so this could lead the townspeople to have great expectations from you.
I found this Poem By John Simone, How To Behave In Public (link). As silly as it may seem, please read it and take every line to heart. Carry it with you and practice doing these things.
If your job permits or you can change jobs easily I suggest you pick up and move away. That way you can get a new start on life. Try to make it a good one. Get a new 'nice' reputation.
There are also books for self help, the larger book stores have many on reputation improvement. That seems to me to be all you need, is to get yourself a good reputation.
If your finances can afford it, professional help can sometimes be beneficial in these areas.
I hope this helps, Dr. Jim
BTW, I would note that many comedians got their start by getting good attention. They do this by doing things to make people laugh. A funny guy is generally a likable one. Dr. Jim
So, keep on keep'n on, and till then,
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