Monday, October 31, 2011

Husband has a belittling job says wife

Dear Dr. Jim

I am at odds about my used-to-be retired husband, Mr. Tom. He taken a job at a discount department store.

Really I don't care if he works to make extra money or to get out of the house for a break.

The trouble with this job is that it is beneath his education and qualifications. Mr. Tom has a bachelors degree in chemical engineering and has worked 47 years with a major petroleum company.

Mr. Tom isn't doing engineering. He is greeting customers and handing them basket carts. His favorite task is checking in the articles that the customers bring in for a refund or exchange.

One customer actually spit on Mr. Tom when he tried to put a yellow 'return' sticker on his new wrist watch.

This job of his is very humiliating for me. My friends tease me about the minimum wage job he has and also some call him a "cart pusher" at the XYZ store. Several of them now avoid me and look the other way if we pass on the street.

I cannot change his mind.

Helpless Mrs. Tom in a small town

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Dear Mrs. Tom
I hate it that you are feeling helpless. I have several very rich friends who are taking minimum wage jobs. Those are fairly plentiful for the older retired men. Ladies' jobs are harder to find.
Most likely Mr. Tom resents your needling him which I believe that you are doing to him. It is too bad that your friends are acting their snobbish ways.
My recommendation for you is that you stop asking him to quit and get yourself some activities. They needn't be wage earning for pay.
Volunteers are needed in the schools, nursing homes, senior citizen residences, restaurants, and in churches among many other places.
If you were to busy yourself in an outside activity then you would meet new friends from other walks of life and social status. Many of them would admire your husband's fortitude in taking a simple job which keeps him busy and enables him to meet and help many needing people.
I hope this helps, Dr. Jim
An aside. I have several friends with more unique type jobs. One works at a golf course as a starter or a marshall. He enjoys this job very much.
Another works at funerals. The mortuaries don't want too many people on the permanent employee payroll due to the high price of benefits. If you husband has declined the XYZ benefits then part time won't be a problem.
Just sayin', Dr. Jim
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rhymeswithplague said...

I think this woman is a bit of a social climber herself and is far too concerned about what her friends think.

I think she needs some new friends who aren't into belittling her husband, even if they are smiling while they are doing it.

I think she doesn't need to belittle him either, just be thankful he is (a) getting out of the house and (b) bringing home a few extra dollars.

Ray said...

Her pride is hurt, understandably, but only because it's misplaced. She's worried about friends not respecting her husband's choices rather than about her husband's happiness. She's more concerned with her friends' opinions of her than her own husband's welfare.

We've all, at times, catered to friends rather than to our spouses. But for her own happiness and for the sake of her marriage, she must now reset her priorites.

♥~Judy~♥ said...

Should we look at any job as beneath us unless it is unethical or immoral? Jesus washed the feet of his disciples to set a good example of servitude. I would feel happy if my husband was happy doing what he does. Mine worked in the medical profession and is rather bored when it is too cold to golf. Why become a couch potatoe?