How often should he change his underwear (he won't change them)

Dear Dr. Jim

Houston, we have a problem.

My husband won't change his underwear. He says he will change it, when it gets embarrassing sized holes.

For sure I want him to have nice looking underwear, how can I get him to change?

Clean Lady in Utah

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Dear Clean Lady

Oh my goodness, at first I misunderstood you. I thought that hubby was wearing his underwear even when it got dirty until he wore holes in it.

Now I see, you want him to change out his underwear before it gets to looking to bad.

I doubt he has changed his habits much since you married him, so you will just have to live with him the way he is. STOP TRYING TO CHANGE HIM. He won't and he will resent you for working on him like you do.

If you want to blame someone you can blame his mother. He probably never changed his underwear out. Or changed it for clean for that matter. I was that way.

Mom would get my used underwear whether dirty or not each night after I went to bed. She would lay out clean underwear for me to put on the next morning along with my other clean clothes. I just thought that was something moms did.

And she would buy me new underwear before it ever got holes in it. Even when we were dirt poor.

When I left home I remember her telling me to be sure not to wear holey underwear just in case I would get into an accident and have to go to the hospital.

Hospitals seem to like nice looking underwear so I came to understand, and to this day if I am driving I put on good underwear. I wear the holey ones around the house and when doing yard work, etc.

Now for you. Buy him new underwear. My estimate is that it should be changed every year to have it looking nice. Just take his old underwear and put in new.

For years Mrs. Jim did that for me. Until we retired, now it is up to me. I must say I don't always put fresh on each morning and some of them have really bad holes. And that is the price you will keep on paying unless you take matters into your own hands.

I hope this helped.

Dr. Jim

Here are some references for you on changing out underwear, wearing clean underway every day, and holey underwear.



So, keep on keep'n on, and till then,
"Please ask your question or leave your comment now!"
(Just ask me and you will remain anonymous)

Submit question or comment in privacy now

To read the rules and/or submit a question, click here.

(CLICK HERE NOW, I've read the rules.)

To leave a comment or non-private question, simply leave a comment below as usual.

'Perplexed' lady left way before "at the alter", what to do?

Dear Dr. Jim

Hi. I have been courted by a nice man for a few months now; he has spoken of marriage and my moving in; I never brought up the subject.

I told him I was hesitant to get involved at this point with my brother dieing and loosing my job all in the same month he wanted to start dating.

He still seemed quite smitten the last time we were together, but then he did not call for 3 days and then quickly got off the phone and said he would call back soon before he left for a week long retreat.

I have never heard from him again; it has been over a week. What is the writing on the wall if any? He seemed like quite a stable sensible loving and honest man;

I am perplexed.


- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Dear 'Perplexed'

Well, as much as I hate to say it, I do believe this guy was hurting.

Please do not take this personally, but be prepared to go on. They have taught me that there are other fish in the sea. Now you continue with your business; do some occasional fishing when it seems right.

First of all, he came on pretty strong wanting you to give that much dedication to you (moving in or marriage). Yes, to speak and hint is probably acceptable but if he was sincere in his asking then he should be prepared to accept waiting.

Secondly, it seems that he was overwhelmed by your unexpected answer. It seems to me that if he was starting to care for you in a permanent way he would be concerned for your situation, offer you some condolences, and possibly even offer some assistance when you were needing.

Now he may have been thinking about this for those three days and decided he did not want to make a commitment this great at this time. Or that he thought since you now were unemployed that the sharing living arrangement would be helping.

I suppose we will never know.

Now, what happened to him? His plane could have crashed. He could have gone back to an "ex" that he hadn't told you about. Or just plain got cold feet.

If you haven't seen him by now (I was sort of waiting to see if he had reappeared in your life) then he is avoiding you or you don't go where he is anymore.

What to do?

You could call him. Just to have closure on this matter, see if he is alright physically and tell him you have enjoyed his company while it lasted. AND THEN, ask him where in the H*ll he has been and that it was very inconsiderate for him to not call you.

Or write him off as a loser. Yes, he may be timid and undecided and not know what or how to do anything about your situation from here on out.

If you really care for him and you think after all this that he is genuine but lacking the tact or courage to carry on, you could talk to a specialist in this area.

I would suggest your pastor if you have one and if you want him to know of this situation. If you would rather he not know, then find pastor in a different church that has an active singles ministry.

I hope this helps a little bit, this is a delicate time in your life.

Dr. Jim

One last item, my Mom used to tell me (quite often) that I would not find a nice girl in a bar. I have always remembered that.

All people have quirks, I have a lot, just ask Mrs. Jim. But she didn't find me in a bar, rather at a social gathering where friends and neighbors were gathered for a meal. Dr. Jim


So, keep on keep'n on, and till then,
"Please ask your question or leave your comment now!"
(Just ask me and you will remain anonymous)

Submit question or comment in privacy now

To read the rules and/or submit a question, click here.

(CLICK HERE NOW, I've read the rules.)

To leave a comment or non-private question, simply leave a comment below as usual.

Wants to train dog her dog not to howl -- dog disrupts family sleeping habits

Dear Dr. Jim

My question:
So, how did you get to be 106 years old, so soon?

But really:
I have a rescue Siberian husky/German shepherd/wolf-in-the-woodpile mix. He ululates every morning about 5:23am to go for an iditerod.

I've had the dog about 9 months, and have grown very attached to him, but this behavior gets me up every morning. It's interfering with my already pathetic love life.

Whatever should I do about it (the dog howling, not my love life)? Please don't say get rid of the dog or my male companion. I'm fond of them both, pretty much equally.

Tired in Oregon

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Dear Tired

Oh dear! Houston, we have a problem. No not with my age. For that take my age, multiply it times 70, add 25, divide by 33 and subtract 12. Then divide by 2.5 and multiply by two and subtract 20. That will be approximately 106.

Now with the sleeping problem. Go to bed earlier, the doggie will howl earlier, let him outside for a bit (put your robe on if it is cold weather), then you all go back to bed and sleep until your regular time.

Dogs can be trained not to howl. Our dog, Adi, only howls on demand or if she is ready for ice cream and beddy-bye late at night.

This is what DogTrainingClassroom.com has to say about breaking the Siberian Husky of howling:

"Your dog may make noise as its way of communication to you when he is lonely or bored. Your dog may howl to seek attention from you. However excessive howling can irritate therefore, training your dog not to howl or make noise is of utmost importance. There are a few simple solutions to solve this problem:

• For the first few days, try to ignore your dog when he/she goes into a howling fit for no apparent reason as any attention will reinforce the behavior. Praise your dog when he becomes quiet.
• Do use a squirt gun to spray water on your dog if excessive howling persists. This is to disrupt its behavior and your dog will associate howling as an unpleasant experience.
• Do praise and reward your dog immediately after it stops making noises and not ten minutes after. Your dog will not understand the reason for the discipline.
• Do use an anti bark collar for further training whenever you are not around and your dog is not fully train yet so as to be thoughtful to thy neighbors."
  http://www.dogtrainingclassroom.com/siberian-husky-training.html at the bottom.
  

I hope this helps. Above all, do not get rid of the mate or the dog!

But hurry and stop the dog from ululating or the mate might get rid of you both. Or get you both trained to get up with him every morning. You could read the newspaper, ours has come by then.

You might even train him to bring you the paper for you.

Thank you for your confidence, Dr. Jim

[We do have a new (to us) toy poodle who will take a running socks from my shoes if I leave them laying on the floor. It looks like she'll be training me to put them away in the dirty clothes basket.]

So, keep on keep'n on, and till then,
"Please ask your question or leave your comment now!"
(Just ask me and you will remain anonymous)

Submit question or comment in privacy now

To read the rules and/or submit a question, click here.

(CLICK HERE NOW, I've read the rules.)

To leave a comment or non-private question, simply leave a comment below as usual.