Will the grand kids like his singing -- He is apprehensive

Dear Dr. Jim

Gotta tell you a story Dr. Jim.

In my younger years I was always preparing to sing in the hollow of his hand for at least one of my three sons and two daughters prior to there leaving on LDS missions.

Well one by one each one of them declined my invitation to sing. They are all grown but now I have seven grands probably to turn me down to sing at their farewells one by one.

The first leaves in Ten years, how do I get one of them to let me sing????

Please help here, Dr. Jim.

Worried in the Free U.S.A, Anon

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Dear Anon

This is a good question. A lot of people have similar situations, perhaps not in their singing but in other areas where their children and grand kids lose appreciation for their elders.

Just get another grand kid and catch him/her very young. Probably they don't realize anything is wrong until they age a little and get more experienced with singin'.

Other than that, there is no hope. My relatives, young and old have no love for my singing. They even all laugh when I sing the 'Happy Birthday Song" to them.

I might add this bit, just smile like I do and they will love you for what you are and how you try (yes, your singing as well).

Hope this helps, Dr. Jim

P.S. Mr. Anon, if you meant to not have this posted here please let me know, use the confidential comment link below. And if you did not, please forgive me. Dr. Jim


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Ask Dr. Jim (blog) Favorites, a Top Ten List -- Please vote for yours!

Dear Dr. Jim

I really like your advice column [sic] blog. We talk about it a lot at work around the water cooler and at home over the supper table.

What are your most popular questions asked so far? Since I am a reporter people think I should know that. I would like to know for myself also.

Nosey Newspaper Reporter in Sacramento, Bob

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Dear Bob

Thanks, a lot of people ask me that. Here is the skinny for the week as of today:

No. 1A: Just plain coming to Ask Dr. Jim (blog) without asking a question or seeking a title. These came to read and keep current with the column blog.

No. 1: Sue just wants to be hairy (armpits) -- Husband opposed (link)

No. 2: Her cat pees on the furniture -- reader is "annoyed" (link)

No. 3: "My wife is always late" says husband, "we need to know how to stop being late" (link)

No. 4: How often should he change his underwear (he won't change them) (link)

No. 5: Is his wife always right? (link)

No. 6: Why do Tigers eat and kill? Why do rabbits run? Kate wants a tiger and a rabbit for pets -- they won't cooperate, she knows! (link)

No. 7: Car's idler pulley bearings -- Stupid wife, ignorant husband, have argument about theirs (link)

No. 8: Do earlobes grow with aging? Still young reader is getting worried (link)

No. 9: Recipe for chocolate cake à la Snickers help needed by Ms. Reader in Farawayland (link)

No. 10: How to make rooster stop crowing in the middle of the night, Mr. Seed needs to know (link)

No. 11: Picky husband won't drink milk past its sell by date (link)

There you have it. This list was compiled by counting hits on the entry pages. You can vote for your favorites too, please read the bottom line here.

I threw in an extra, sorta' like a baker's dozen just in case someone doesn't like one of the first ten.

Usually No. 8, about ladies' earlobes growing, is around the top three. Do you think everyone knows this already so we are cutting back on the Googling for this.

Or we might blame it on the economy, people are just plain satisfied with what they have and don't want to spend money on their ears.

I hope this helps,

Dr. Jim

One last item. I would appreciate readers voting (by leaving your comments) on their favorites. I will tabulate this for you in a comment later on.



So, keep on keep'n on, and till then,
"Please ask your question or leave your comment now!"
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Woman suspects husband is gay -- he hangs out with his buddies

Dear Dr. Jim

Dr. Jim, please help me! I need it badly!

My husband sometimes would rather spend time with his buddies than with me. I think he may be gay or turning gay. Could this be the case?

With his buddies he works on cars, plays golf, and does all kinds of activities with those guys. One is especially close I think. He calls every day or two, they even go for coffee at MacDonald's.

We have been married for fifty-five years now and I don't think I can stand what I am seeing.

Scared and left at home in Poughkeepsie, Fran

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Dear Fran

Well, if it helps any it seems to me that your husband is a healthy and well adjusted fellow. Of course that isn't saying he couldn't be gay.

Here is the deal. Most men can't make friends with other guys. Their friends are only women, often just their wives at that. Sociologists say a well adjusted man will have a close buddy. A golfing buddy or card playing friend is typical.

That is easier for women, you probably have a close gossip friend and then perhaps a bridge circle or close coffee group. Most women do, IF YOU DON'T THEN YOU HAD BETTER GET A FRIEND. That is not of the utmost importance for men, but women need women to talk woman talk with.

I would think that after fifty-five years of marriage you would have figured all this out.

One problem is that women tend to be more jealous of their hubbies than most men are vice-versa. My closest friend ('Bill' we'll call him) around the age of twenty was a few years older and married. We worked on a racing car and would take it to the races on Saturday nights. I learned a lot that way.

One day his wife walked out of the house with a suitcase in her hand. When asked where she was headed, she told 'Bill' that since he liked that %$#@&+ car more than he loved her she was leaving. She left and divorced poor Bill.

That wasn't the end. Bill married a very sweet young lady. I should know she was sweet as for a while I hung around her sweet sister some until she got married also.

And we weren't and have never been gay.

For more reading on this subject check this link out. Read especially the third one (was when I looked) entitled Men and Friendship. Check some of these too.

And for goodness sake if you still feel this way about him go seek a professional for help. You pastor can recommend a competent worker.

Hope this helps, Dr. Jim



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