Left over turkey too much for 'gonged' Mississippi cook

Dear Dr. Jim

Oh dear Mr. Jim, I've got a problem. A turkey problem. About 10 turkeys problem, almost.

You see I had invited my family and extended family and some neighbors over for Thanksgiving. I prepared for about 85 guests because that's how many invitations I sent or had called, roughly.

Trouble is that only a dozen came, or so.

Now what do I do with all the turkey I have left over. I made a dozen because my Betty Cr*cker recipe said 'one turkey for every seven eaters'. So I made a dozen of those birds. That is how I figure there are ten left as those twelve who came probably ate about two if Betty Cr*cker was right, or nearly right.

So Dr. Jim, I need your help with disposing of all these turkeys, literally as food you see.

Gonged in Mississippi

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Dear Gonged

Well, I hope you didn't get 'gonged', in actuality.

First of all, if you didn't stick them in the fridge within a half hour after the meal, THROW THEM ALL AWAY! Turkeys are one of the fastest spoiling foods known.

Now, if you still have them and didn't throw them out because they weren't refrigerated then you should freeze all but a half of one for the time being.

If you can do that, eat the half one as leftovers and save the rest for Christmas.

With the half one, I would suggest turkey sandwiches, turkey tacos, turkey tarts with blue cheese, turkey pizza, turkey soup, turkey casserole, turkey hamburger, turkey BLT, etc. I do not like leftover turkey except for the first day when I will eat a turkey breast sandwich with mayo and lettuce.

I will eat turkey noodle soup but only if I make it myself. Use your Betty Cr*cker recipe for that. You will have to substitute turkey meat for the chicken in the chicken noodle soup recipe.

I hope this helps. If your freezer isn't big enough then give one each turkey to your friendly neighbors to keep until you are ready to use/eat it.

Dr. Jim

One more tidbit, like closing the barn door after all the pigs have run out, but I'll tell you anyway. Next time, find out to a person or so who is coming and who won't.

A good rule to go by here is for every four people you invite one will come. That would have given you 21 to come. Your twelve is a little off my rule. You had one to come of every seven you invited.

Invite and ask of them, written in the invitation, to RSVP yes or no. That is what the manners books say to do--it keeps the pigs in the barn.

Dr. Jim





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Fiancé likes to kiss Santa -- she really frustrates her mate with those kisses

Dear Dr. Jim

I hate to tell you this for fear that someone I know may recognize me. But I have no place else to turn.

My fiancé insists up on kissing Santa at the Malls.

I've tried everything with her, even try to tell her that they are paid guys, not the real Santa. These guys get their pay for sitting there to entice the little children into telling their Christmas wishes within the hearing range of their parents.

Even when it is an outlandish gift they want Santa to bring, kids will spill the beans to Santa. They would be afraid the parents would ridicule them, chastise them, or other ilks of this sort.

So how do I get her to stop kissing that guy. I don't like it, it may ruin our marriage to become.

Embarrassed Samuel in Ohio

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Dear Samuel

Have a heart. Your fiancé is only finishing out her youthful fantasises.

I would guess that when she was small Santa snubbed her or she was deprived of seeing him. She has to work this out of her system.

Then too, she may still believe deep in her heart that this is the real Santa just getting around all over like he does on Christmas night. It is simply magic the way he operates.

You could help her to grow up.

First, change your name to 'Sam'. Samuel is a child's name who still acts like a little boy. Change it to Sam and YOU grow up.

Then listen to what she has to say to Santa. Talk to her afterwards about her wishes if she has voiced them to him. She may not tell him anything, she may really like to kiss him. Then talk her concerning her feelings towards Santa. Some big girls and grown women do think he is cute.

I myself get pats and kisses from strangers, women, mostly because of my beard and my handsome looks. Sometimes they ask me if they should know me. Most times they are thinking of a movie star, sometimes an attorney or politician they have seen on TV.

If a thing like this bothers you so much as to be reason for you to back out of getting married I cringe. Then you for sure are not ready to get married and should not get married. Period.

One other thing, are you jealous of these guys getting kisses from your fiancé? If so, then again you are not ready for marriage. Kissing Santa is like kissing Dad. Does it bother you when she kisses her father? Think about this for a while.

Hope this helps, Dr. Jim

A tidbit here. I believed in Santa until I was ready to enter high school. The Christmas of my eighth grade when sitting beside Santa (I was to heavy for his lap by then) Santa himself let me know who he really was.

He asked me how I like playing down at his pond across the road from our farm, where the creek runs through both farms. I was flabbergasted but later it got me to thinking. I am sure he was not the real Santa now because of that incident.

Dr. Jim





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How to spend less for Christmas -- wife has big spending ideas

Dear Dr. Jim

I just don't know what to do. My husband says we have to save money this year and spend NOTHING FOR CHRISTMAS.

I have always purchased gifts for everyone there is in our families. Most of them give back as well.

My rule is this: (in +/- $$'s)
$25 for people over 40 and cousins and friends
$50 for grandparents, nephews, nieces, uncles
$200-1000 for my hubby
$1000-3000 for each of the four kids.

Now you see why the old grouch might not be liking this. This amounts to around $10,000-15,000 each year. Now I have lost my job although he still has his.

Even on one family income we make over $48,000 a year. My solution is to just divide all those numbers by two and say that my half will not be given this year.

Does that sound right to you? Please, oh please, Dr. Jim, say that will be fine.

Needs a job in Michigan

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Well, Ms. Needs

That does not sound right at all.

I would like to side with your hubby but you aren't writing for me to say that.

What I will say is to leave Christmas gifting for the kids and a small gift to the spouses (I am thinking he will buy YOU something).

Also I would:

scale way down on the kids, either several smaller and less expensive gifts or one in the few hundreds;

set a limit on younger nieces and nephews to $10 skipping the older ones (a card and handkerchief would be OK);

send cards to the others, everyone else who was on your list before; and

make an agreement with hubby how much to spend on each other for a meaningful and loving gift, please don't let this amount get very high.

I know Michigan is hurting for jobs, could you possible get a temporary one during the Christmas season? There will be a lot of competition for those but you may have the edge with your maturity and working experience.

I hope this helped. There may be other solutions the readers might come up with.

And I might say, I would be grouchy too if my wife spent that much on Christmas. We don't even buy new cars, have never during our 35 years of marriage bought a new car. Just have to be frugal when we aren't rich.

Dr. Jim

An aside, if you could move to Texas, that would help. A lot of Michigan folks moved here in the 80's when things were rough.

Most moved back but as our great President Reagan once said, "Vote with your feet." Dr. Jim

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Husband doesn't like wife to be out

Dear Dr. Jim

I've been having some problems with my wife. She goes out and I can't even get her to tell me where she has been.

Do you think I can put an electronic tracker on her? The cops do it with parolees.

If I could, where would I buy such a thing?

I thank you in advance, it is getting harder and harder to keep her from getting out again.

Hot Guy from Minnesota

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Well, Mr. Hot Guy. I don't think you're so hot. Not if you are keeping your wife captive.

Forget it, let her go.

I will warn you that if you are found keeping her 'prisoner' in your home you are liable for a long time prison term yourself, IN THE SLAMMER.

I can't help you any further here, it is beyond my ability and competence as an attorney.

But I will tell you this, let her go and see an attorney, FAST.

Dr. Jim



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