Husband would come in the fitting room with his wife. Is that Okay?

Dear Dr. Jim 

Well, Doctor, I'm pretty pertabated today.  My Missus is shopping for dresses, they hardly trade in those anymore. 

So I'm sitting in a nice chair at the entrance to the lady's fitting rooms. There's no one to fit you any more either. Things just aren't like they used to be. 

That also goes for shopping for clothes with your lady friend as well.  I'm the only guy in this whole store, about like the six. 

That gets to my question.  

Is it alright for me, her husband, to help the Missus with her fit in the dressing room? 

Just Like to Help the Missus; 

  in Need Help, Arkansas

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Dear JLHM 

Hi there, I hope maybe you've fixed this situation up by now.  I do hope so because I sure don't want to say anything bad off the cuff here.  

Let me start with these words, MOST WOMEN FEEL UNCOMFORTABLE WHEN A MAN IS IN THERE WITH THEM IN THE LADIES DRESSING ROOMS, even if all the other doors are closed or the curtains pulled. 

Saying that, I would not recommend that your Hub come into the dressing room with you.

If you would feel comfortable wearing your debatable purchase it is alright for you to wear it out in the Husband Waiting Area for him to see and help you if he can. 

And don't you dare say that I said he might sneak in if you two would be the only ones in the dressing room area.  I have seen that being done, most time that keeps the other women from coming in. 

I hope this helps, please keep your modesty for the rest of us. 

Any readers have something to say about this advice?

Dr. Jim, ambassador for doing right 

Oh yes, I do like the nickname, or is it her given, "Missus".  Sometimes I call my wife "Missy."

So, keep on keep'n on, and till then, "Please ask your question or leave your comment now!" (Just ask me and you will remain anonymous)

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Wanted: Gift Suggestions for Shade Tree Mechanics

Dear Dr. Jim

I am writing you for some suggestions for Christmas and birthday presents.

What I have in mind would be items that shade tree mechanics might be needing to keep the family car in good shape.

They fix my car too, Ima Goode, Indiana resident

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Dear Ima,

There are over ten thousand nice items in various auto parts stores and catalogs.  I would recommend without blushing NAPA Auto Parts stores.  There probably is one near you, we have three close by located in three different towns in three directions from our home.

You can do mail order or shop on line from most of these companies as well.  NAPA provides me with a calendar every year.  Check these of mine (link).

What to buy?

1.  Shop around at the stores

2.  Go on the Internet

3.  Try from this list I got from eMail.  They may laugh at the idea of some too  (I won't vouch for every item on this list):

"Automotive Gift Suggestions... Just in Time for Last Minute Christmas Shopping!

If you have an "automotive minded" person in your life, these gift suggestions should be considered.

1. Tire Air Change Kit. This kit comes with everything you need to change the air in your tires. This highly recommended but often overlooked maintenance item is much easier now. Remember to change your air every 3000 miles or twice a year. $25

2. Blinker Fluid. You knew it existed but, WOW, is this stuff hard to find. 4oz bottle. $12

3. Synthetic Blinker Fluid. Better yet! 4oz bottle. $24

4. Light Bulb Filaments. Why throw away a perfectly good turn signal or stop light bulb when you can just install a new filament? Premium Filaments, made in the USA! $1 each.

5. Manifold Heat. Yes, your exhaust manifold should be HOT. If it's not, you may need this item. Sold by the pound. $3.50

6. Steering Wheel Gaskets. All SIZES available! Email for specific application. From $9.99

7. Tie Rod Tensioner. Is your tie rod limp? Tension it with T-50! $14.99

8. Alternator Batteries. (4 required, replace them all!) From $2.99

9. Fan Belt Buckles. Specify brass or chrome. Gold available special order. $14.99

10. Muffler Bearing Manual. Print version $59.95

11. Muffler Bearing Manual. CD version $49.99

12. Universal Muffler Bearing Tool Kit $105.59

13. Muffler Bearing Hi Temp Synthetic Lube (the only kind we sell!) $40.24

14. Muffler Bearings From $19.95

15. Muffler Bearing Gasket Kits From $9.99

16. Momentum (required for tackling some off road obstacles). Sold by the lb-ft/sec $0.50

17. Microsoft Windows Eliminator. If your car or truck begins to run poorly, (long time to start, frequent crashes, etc.), it's computer, (ecm, ecu, black box, etc.), may have become infected with this nasty computer virus. This product will safely remove the virus. $199

18. Mirror Image Flipper Film. Did you know that the image you see in your rear view mirrors are reversed! This is a manufacturing flaw that the auto companies have kept secret for years as the recall would cost BILLIONS! This film can be cut and placed over any mirror to correct the image. Now you'll be able to read signs in the rear view mirror! $5 per square ft."

Some of our readers may have suggestions of their own too.  Caveat, I will not vouch or check donated suggestions out.  As with all donated and Internet help, I would ask your regular certified mechanic about all suggestions, even mine.

Ima, I hope this helps,
as usual, Dr. JIM

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Hubby doesn't want to go shopping with his wife -- says wife expects to much of him

Dear Dr. Jim

My wife has unreal expectations from me. I love her company but just listen to this little vignette.

She wants me to go with her shopping for her some new clothes. It isn't the clothes or spending money I object to, but she always does this to me. She drags me along to every little store and several malls.

My feet are wearing out just thinking of all that walking. We go and go and go. I would say an easy five miles in just this one day.

And Dr. Jim, all the ladies trying on those little clothes and dresses look at me like I am a vagrant come in to ogle.

Besides that, this is the time this year for the U.S. Men's Clay Court Championships Matches. I hate to miss even a one of those.

So please can you help me, Please, Please, Please

I.M.P. in Toulouse, NH

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Well Mr. P, I can't feel very sorry for you. You should be grateful your BW (best wife) wants you to go shopping with you. Mine hardly ever invites me.

When she does, I always take plenty of reading material and my lap top. When my feet get tired, I find a bench outside (in your cold and snow, you might have to be inside), sit and read.
When I get tired of reading, I blog. I just love it that we have the Internet free all over the area. That was our first economic stimulus.

You shouldn't waste your time watching tennis. Besides most tennis fans (not the players) develop arthritis of the neck with all that twisting to see from side to side. Even the TV watcher fans get that.

Oh well, there probably isn't much help with you, but give her a break and be a nice little husband once in a while. It might do your marriage good, you can talk in the car and if she will sit with you on the bench, help things still more.

I hope this helps one of you, Dr. Jim

Note: I really don't mind being with and looking at all those women either. I get lots of smiles, winks, and pats. Dr. Jim


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Hubby wants to wait until the last minute to buy when things get to be a bargain -- Here the Christmas tree

Dear Dr. Jim

Oh gosh, its Christmas time and here we go again.

My husband always waits until Christmas Eve or sometimes even Christmas Day to get our Christmas tree.

He gets the bargain ones that will go to the beach the next day to help slow down the erosion.

We don't have time to enjoy it before Christmas and sometimes there isn't time to decorate it properly. If you could get him to buy it now we could at least have a couple of days.

Please rush me the answer, he said he would go by your answer just this one day.

Thank you Dr. Jim, I know you will come through,

Santa's Elf # 2,981,001, a Little Miffed in the deep North

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Dear # 2,981,001 Miff

Okay, lets do this one up right and fast. After all it is Christmas time and your scenario is being repeated hundreds of thousands of time all over the country.

Normally I would have a few terrible solutions to your situation but this year let's do it right just this one time. (Meaning I won't go into stubbornness, procrastination, cheapskate-likeness, marital bickering, etc.)

Here is it: WATCH THE SALE ADS ON ARTIFICIAL TREES. OFTEN THEY ARE EVEN BEFORE CHRISTMAS DAY. BUY ONE FOR HALF PRICE OR LESS. EVEN IF YOU HAVE TO WAIT UNTIL AFTER CHRISTMAS IT WILL BE FOR JUST THIS ONE TIME AND WELL WORTH IT. TRUST ME.

Now for the good news. Next year you can take this artificial tree out any time you are ready. Your hubby might even get to like seeing it out so pretty and all earlier.

We do that at our house. Mrs. Jim gets it out whenever she is ready. Of course I get roped into helping her with the lights and assembly. She isn't an aerospace engineer like I was for a lot of my working life.

Mrs. Jim can also take it down when she is ready. I am now divorced from the whole procedure except for a little work at setup, take-down, and storage times. Oh yes, I help her when a string of lights go out but what the hey. That's being married and loved. (Read my comment on lights if you want to here a short cut I took this year.)

I know this helps, yours, Dr. Jim

p.s. I do suspect this goes on for other things, the waiting for sales. A lot of this is fine, it just depends on how badly the item is needed earlier. You guys can work that out after seeing how the Christmas tree thing works. Dr. Jim



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How to spend less for Christmas -- wife has big spending ideas

Dear Dr. Jim

I just don't know what to do. My husband says we have to save money this year and spend NOTHING FOR CHRISTMAS.

I have always purchased gifts for everyone there is in our families. Most of them give back as well.

My rule is this: (in +/- $$'s)
$25 for people over 40 and cousins and friends
$50 for grandparents, nephews, nieces, uncles
$200-1000 for my hubby
$1000-3000 for each of the four kids.

Now you see why the old grouch might not be liking this. This amounts to around $10,000-15,000 each year. Now I have lost my job although he still has his.

Even on one family income we make over $48,000 a year. My solution is to just divide all those numbers by two and say that my half will not be given this year.

Does that sound right to you? Please, oh please, Dr. Jim, say that will be fine.

Needs a job in Michigan

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Well, Ms. Needs

That does not sound right at all.

I would like to side with your hubby but you aren't writing for me to say that.

What I will say is to leave Christmas gifting for the kids and a small gift to the spouses (I am thinking he will buy YOU something).

Also I would:

scale way down on the kids, either several smaller and less expensive gifts or one in the few hundreds;

set a limit on younger nieces and nephews to $10 skipping the older ones (a card and handkerchief would be OK);

send cards to the others, everyone else who was on your list before; and

make an agreement with hubby how much to spend on each other for a meaningful and loving gift, please don't let this amount get very high.

I know Michigan is hurting for jobs, could you possible get a temporary one during the Christmas season? There will be a lot of competition for those but you may have the edge with your maturity and working experience.

I hope this helped. There may be other solutions the readers might come up with.

And I might say, I would be grouchy too if my wife spent that much on Christmas. We don't even buy new cars, have never during our 35 years of marriage bought a new car. Just have to be frugal when we aren't rich.

Dr. Jim

An aside, if you could move to Texas, that would help. A lot of Michigan folks moved here in the 80's when things were rough.

Most moved back but as our great President Reagan once said, "Vote with your feet." Dr. Jim

So, keep on keep'n on, and till then,
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