Wednesday, March 19, 2008

Retired elderly fellow feels loss of respect, how should he deal with it?

Dear Dr. Jim

I am a frustrated older, retired man who likes to write short poetry.

I have this problem, I have lost my respect since I retired.

Here is my little poem about that:

a couplet....
my retirement is the pits
i get not respect since i'm 66

Almost had it with this kind of life, Mr. Putz

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Well, Mr. Putz, I am very sorry about how you feel. To me, your poem is nice, though also very revealing.

Saying that, I've been there and done that! And am still in the recovery stage if there is such a thing.

Basically here are your problems:
(1) people no longer know you by your occupation, about you, it is "just that retired elderly fellow down the street;"
(2) your kids probably make more money than you do, way more, some of them;
(3) I don't think you live in a year-round temperate climate. Being snowed in for winters is the pits;
(4) you really don't have any hobbies you are proud of; and
(5) you like visiting and wasting time too much to get into the swing of things like you did when you worked. I surmise you have had an adventuresome life much like I had before you retired.

Now, some ideas. That is all I can do, I'm not a shrink or a professional advisor on personal life. BUT I AM VERY EXPERIENCED IN LIFE!

First get a nice hobby. My wife has pretty near outdone me on golf, so I dropped down on that. I do like to write and this may turn out to be how I am known. "Oh yes, he is the writer over in the Bentwater subdivision," "I know him," or, "I have heard of him."

Since you have been blogging about as long as I have, seem to have about the same amount of time or more than I have, and you also like to write, I'd say cash in on that.

See where poetry takes you. Make blogger friends with it. Here are 690,000 ideas on that aspect (click link # 1) or these 4,700 people who like writing poetry, and they blog about it (click link # 2). Since the latter group all have Blogger Blogs you have something in common with them right away.

You can go to your profile, then click on your interests for more ideas of getting with the bloggers. I just did a blogger search on "writing+poetry." to get the above 4,700.

I have heard you have a dog. Take it for walks in the neighborhood, you will meet a lot of friends that way. Around here, I am also known as "Adi's Grandfather."

You might want to look into training and using your dog as a therapy dog. Especially if you like to be helping people who are even less fortunate than you--there are many (click link # 3) or (click link # 4)! Check with the Delta Society if this interests you at all (click link # 5)

I have to stop here. You can brainstorm your interests, age, former occupation(s), religion, politics, etc, then find local or distant groups or individuals to share these interests with.

And go to it, your new dignity is waiting for you!

So, keep on keep'n on, and till then,
"Please ask your question or leave your comment now!"
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Lucy Stern said...

I'm not retired just yet but I do have lots of things to keep me busy. I am a grandmother with two wonderful grandkids to love, I like ham radio and working with other "hams". I do lots of church work that keeps me busy and I am already a "stay at home" person.

I can't imagine my husband retiring. He loves to work and will probably work till the day he dies.

My advice: Stay active as much as you can....Live with the cards that the Lord has delt you with and make the best of them.....You have a lot to give, give it well.

Jim said...

Thanks Lucy, your comment is a welcome booster, you said it just right!

I'll bet you check with you picture-namesake for your wisdom, she had 'advice for 5¢' running in the Peanuts comic strips.

Please feel free to add your 2¢ worth just any time. Or if you think I went astray, criticism is always welcome.
BTW, I also am into ham radio, I have been ever since 1960. They have special enduring names for us 'old timers' except I don't get that from using voice, I still sound young.
On CW (Morse Code) I will be called 'Old Timer' or 'Doc' or anything else.
I have thought of Reverend or 'Rev' even, my friend who is not a preacher does that. He says he is to be revered and respected for his age and accomplishments!

Rachel said...

You gave some good advice there Jim!! Keeping busy and making new friends, and volunteering are all good ways to get out and about.

Gee, I'll have to remember to ask Dr. Jim the next time I have a question!!

Barlow Putz said...

this is the putz speaking....since dr.jim's advice, i got a job at molewart greetin cutomers, i have become a ham operator, i visit my grandkids in canada weekly, i work night doing security at ussa forest service, i blogg on the hour, i run a kennel for runaways dogs, i have joined an internation bird watching society, i knit, i sew, i make clothes for my wife, and in my sparetime i get a few ZZZZZZ's

Tony said...

Hi Jim, I like the blog you have here. Very good advice.