Monday, December 31, 2007

Dig to China? Dig a hole to China? "Just Wondering"

Dear Dr. Jim Did you ever try to dig a hole to China? When I was little, my brother told me I could get to China by digging a big, deep hole. 

I dug a pretty big hole with my little shovel, but after awhile I gave up. Do you think my brother was just pulling my leg? 

Just Wondering 

 - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 

Dear Just Wondering 

Well, it would help if I knew how old you are. By the looks of your handwriting I would say you might be in your later 70s to early 90s. Your age is very important to me because in the old days people really believed this myth. I do believe this is the case here. However modern technology has not yet been able to substantiate this old wives tale nor can it really dispute it. 

Holes have been dug to tremendous depths to no avail. Most of the time the liquid molten earth core is struck resulting in a miniature volcano. Several lives have been lost in this research from these terribly hot substances. If you can hold on to life for a decade or two I am sure people (not you) can dig their way to China. 

Now, would this be a good thing? We are already overburdened with border protection issues and tasks. Imagine if the vast hoard of Chinese people would start swarming to the U.S. We already ship most of our rice to China, they would surely not have enough to eat here with most all our rice being exported. Did you ever try to buy rice in the grocery store? There is a long waiting list at most food suppliers. 

National defense would also be a problem. Ever since the Patriot Act was passed, much of the immigration work has been secretly delegated to FEMA. Now they just plain too are overburdened with work. You should try to cash a check an most any bank without divulging your Social Security Number (SSN). Big brother is watching you good, sister! 

There is a web site for unbelievers. Try here. Please note that you are to PUT YOUR ZIP CODE AT THE TOP ENCLOSED LINE and push the "FIND' button on THE RIGHT. It would have YOU moving to Chile or Timbuktu (map) so you could hit China. 

I hope this helped. If not, you pull on his leg for a while. More Wikipedia information (click) about Timbuktu, including the above map. 

So, keep on keep'n on, and till then, "Please ask your question or leave your comment now!" (Just ask me and you will remain anonymous) 

Submit question or comment in privacy now 

To read the rules and/or submit a question, click here.

(CLICK HERE NOWI've read the rules.) To leave a comment or non-private question, simply leave a comment below as usual.

Dig to China? -- Reader would like to take a shortcut to China

Thank you for coming.
This blog has been reposted,
click here for update.

[Just scroll UP if there is a blog up there]

Thursday, December 27, 2007

Reader wants his second cup of coffee in the morning taste as good as the first one


Dear Dr. Jim

Why doesn't the second cup of coffee in the morning taste as good as the first one?

I've always wanted to know the answer to that question.

Ed, Morning Coffee Lover in Minneapolis

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Well, Ed, you have asked the 6.2 billion dollar question! And you came to the right place!

That is how much researchers spent last year trying to answer that for the coffee marketeers. My own research on this situation shows that you are not alone in wanting better (Google search).

A lot of these drinkers suggest a burned taste in their second cup. Some even make it one cup at a time, they say the second still is not so good.

What do I think? I hate to pin myself down, but I believe it is a fact of life that must be accounted for, one must develop a work-around solution.

So. Either for my second or third cup of coffee in the morning, I have something sweet to eat along with my not so tasty coffee.

That might be why some load up with cream and sugar in their coffee. Not for my coffee. How about you, dear readers?

I like the old saying,
"I like her bitter as I can git 'er,"
along with a piece of pie.




So, keep on keep'n on, and till then,
"Please ask your question or leave your comment now!"
(Just ask me and you will remain anonymous)

Friday, December 21, 2007

Groper in Sumatra needs help with his wife


Dear Dr. Jim

I was happily married until a couple of weeks ago. Now my life is a total H**l.

Mrs. Joe B Haive just mentioned that it must have given Sandrama Lamy a thrill(click this link) to grope Santa. Then I just mentioned that I really liked groping and it was all over.

She wouldn't even listen to reason and I have been banished to the woodshed (or to leave, her choice). I wanted to tell her about the fake blogs at the Groper Blog.

Please help me, Joe B Haive in Sumatra

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Ok, Joe. If you can show her this blog column she will understand, otherwise I hope you have a heater out there in the wood shed. Or a lot of blankets.

Readers (and Mrs. Joe B Haive), there is a blog site like that.

But it is called NewsGroper, not Groper Blog. Click on this to see all the fake blogs. If she doesn't believe you then, pray for a warm winter.

There is a new one about once a week, it seems. My favorite is Al Gore's Blog (link).

Did you know that Al when he was waiting for Pres. Bush to show up for the Nobel Peace Prize photo shoot, he dug around in Bush's desk and found some left over Jolly Ranchers that Bill Clinton used to keep in the top-right-hand drawer?

Al is a hoot on his blog (not), but really the funniest and my favorite is Britney Spears' Blog (link). Everyone should read her side of the stolen lighter episode. She is exonerated if the judge will just read her December 11 post.

I hope this helps you Joe. It will help you for sure, if you can just get your lap top out of the house and into the wood shed.




So, keep on keep'n on, and till then,
"Please ask your question or leave your comment now!"
(Just ask me and you will remain anonymous)

Monday, December 17, 2007

This Burbank fellow just wants to stay home all the time


Dear Dr. Jim

I am having the problem of my life. It seems that I don't want to go anyplace anymore. I don't even want to leave the house except for Saturdays and Sundays.

Especially I don't want to go to school. I don't like to go there, I don't like the people there, especially the pupils and teachers, and don't like to do anything they are wanting me to do there.

I will honor your advice, my wife says I should write you and we have this agreement.

Wanna B. Homebody, in Burbank.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Dear Wanna B.

I have checked the surroundings you are exposed to at that school, everything and everybody is fairly nice, with the exceptions of a few U. Gnow What's. Nastiness runs in the What family and is to be to be expected.

Then I checked with Mrs. Homebody, she says you just have to go as you are a teacher there.

So, it looks like you are stuck there. You could change schools next school year. Or you could change lines of work. That may involve schooling which you probably wouldn't like. What about retirement? I know a retired teacher who has become a golf marshal at a nearby golf course. She gets all the golfing she wants, free.

You can toss a coin about the options above. But tomorrow and for a while you don't have any choice.

So enjoy your weekends, but get your lazy b*tt back to school.


So, keep on keep'n on, and till then,
"Please ask your question or leave your comment now!"
(Just ask me and you will remain anonymous)

Thursday, December 13, 2007

Reader has a a severe case of pessimision in Seattle


Dear Dr. Jim

I feel as if the sky is falling. Nothing I try turns out right. Sometimes it doesn't even pay for me to get out of bed. When my car will start in the morning, it doesn't run good. When I want to eat, all the others have taken the good food.

At night I am so tired I can't do anything but sleep. But if I go to bed, then I can't sleep. My dog and my wife still love me dearly, but they don't seem to be of much encouragement any more.

Please, Dr. Jim, will you help me get a life back again.

Sleepy and sleepless in Seattle

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Please try to keep your chin up, SSS. Yes, I can help. I believe you have a severe case of pessimision (more here).

I have enlisted the assistance of Pessimists Persevering Limited, or PP ltd. They guarantee that you will be cured in three weeks. After that a small amount of therapy may be required monthly.

A month ago I, myself, was not fit to live by. With the help of PP ltd both my pessimision and pessimism are eliminated. Below are the results of my latest test.

If a report like this appeals to you, please contact me by comment mode, leaving your e-mail and phone number. For a modest fee you will be happy again! All information left will remain confidential and will not be posted as a comment here.



You Are an Optimist



You definitely see the sunny side of life, even when things aren't going so great.

And while you may not be a realist, your optimism has really improved your quality of life.

You have the energy to take charge, solve your problems, and enjoy life for what it is.

Optimists are happier and healthier - so keep thinking positive!


Any of the readers please feel free to take this evaluation test. It costs you nothing.

So, keep on keep'n on, and till then,
"Please ask your question or leave your comment now!"
(Just ask me and you will remain anonymous)

Sunday, December 9, 2007

Wife wants to eat out all the time, at expensive exotic places


Dear Dr. Jim

My wife is an excellent cook. The problem is that she likes to eat out at expensive restaurants. She tells me that things have grown stale with her cooking and she is looking for new dishes at these exotic places.

I'm at my wit's end with her, my pocketbook is too. What do you recommend I do about this situation?

Kyle, eating out and liking less in Philly

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Well, Kyle, you have a dilemma here which is fixable. You know, us guys like to fix things.

First let's discuss the situation. Be glad her 'exotic place' serves meals and that she takes you along. When most women go to 'exotic places' their menfolk aren't invited.

Since 'exotic places' are in her vocabulary, I suspect she goes out in the afternoons quite frequently.

Typical is the 'pressure cooker' joint visit in the middle of the afternoon. These are places to meet, talk, and lineup. Lineup, like line up a hot date with one of the hunks who hand out hang out there.

Then they go home a half hour or so before the old man comes home, stick the pre-cut food goodies in the pressure cooker, and dinner is ready to serve in that half hour. Yours is coming home ready to eat out with you at those wallet busting eateries.

You are fortunate. TAKE AWAY HER ALLOWANCE!!!

This way she won't have money to get into these 'exotic places'. If a 'honey hunk' is paying her way in, she still won't have money to primp and clothe her bod in an enticing way. They will all drop her cold.

Dr. Jim


There is an old adage, keep her barefoot and pregnant, she won't be out running around. That one is pretty risky in today's spouse high flight day and time, I really don't recommend it.


So, keep on keep'n on, and till then,
"Please ask your question or leave your comment now!"
(Just ask me and you will remain anonymous)


Technorati Profile

Friday, December 7, 2007

All Rivers Run South


Dear Dr. Jim

This may be too hard for you, but I can't figure out why water runs towards the equator from both the north and the south.

When I look at the globe it looks like it all should run to the south, clear on to the South Pole.

Please help me so I can get some decent sleep again.

Loosing Sleep in Kansas

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Who told you that it runs north from the South Pole? That is completely wrong, and your figuring from looking at your globe is totally correct.

You can Google that, in fact there is a song about this little understood fact.

Dr. Jim


So, keep on keep'n on, and till then,
"Please ask your question or leave your comment now!"
(Just ask me and you will remain anonymous)


Tuesday, December 4, 2007

Busted flat and slipping in Beverly Hills

Dear Jim

I have a 1987 Chevy Pickup with a problem. The motor revs up too fast while going up hills or starting out. It has the feeling that the tires are slipping but they in fact aren't. The dealer wants to install a newly rebuilt transmission for about $4800. What do you suggest?

I might add my pickup is a faithful workhorse with only 300,801 miles on it.

Frustrated G.K. in Beverly Hills

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Ok, G.K, this is a dilemma which could end up as a no-win spending spree.

I researched the value of your truck and found it to be about $1475. (see Note 1) It would seem fool-hardy to spend much more than that to keep your truck going good.

I would recommend for you to do these steps in the following order if you want to keep this truck. If and when the problem is corrected consider yourself lucky and stop.

Buy a can of Heavy Duty Transmission Gunk and put the whole can in. Not really the can, just all of the contents.

Change out all the transmission fluid and the filter.

Buy and install a used ($130), rebuilt ($275), or new ($640) torque converter.

Buy and install a junk yard transmission, complete with torque converter. Be sure to change out the fluid and filter. I have located one in nearby Culver City for $300. E-mail me again and I will give you their phone number and referral info to get it for this price.

Buy a newer used pickup. Check the Kelley Blue Book (see Note 2) for an estimate on prices. Avoid buying on eBay unless you can inspect the vehicle before you buy it.

√√√ To solve your problems fast, I would recommend getting the used transmission. My backyard mechanic will change it out in your driveway for $180 cash.

Remember the old adage, "Treat Your Baby Like A Royalty." (see Note 3)

Notes:
1. Kelley Blue Book - Private Party Pricing Report (
link)
2. Kelley Blue Book -- Used Cars for Sale (link)
3. ... Treat Your Baby Like A Royalty (link)


So, keep on keep'n on, and till then,
"Please ask your question or leave your comment now!"

Sunday, December 2, 2007

Is his wife always right?


Dear Dr. Jim

My wife always has to be right. It is very annoying and leads to some disagreements. She still argues even when she know she is wrong. She says she gets it from her parents but I am not sure. They seem normal so I am sure that is not the case. How should I handle these instances when she is wrong?

George and Weezy

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Admitting the problem is half the battle in instances like this. I'm glad Weezy has admitted her problem. I suspect she is shifting the blame a little here, to her parents. Remember Eve blamed the snake for enticing poor old Adam into eating that forbidden dangerous pear and it didn't work. see Note 1

That said, George, have you examined your attitude in this situation? Could it be possible that it is natural to be wanting to be right? And that you also are wanting to "always ... be right?"

Lastly, remember the age old adage, "What is normal?" Even psychologists don't know the answer to that! see Note 2

You say her parents are 'normal.' What if they are normal and also always want to be right? Would this make "also always want[ing] to be right" normal?

One caveat here: By all means remember the old adage, "when Momma ain't happy, nobody is."


Notes
1. Genesis 3:13 Then the LORD God said to the woman, "What is this you have done?"
The woman said, "The serpent deceived me, and I ate."(link)

2. Pendulum Resources. Your gateway to affective disorders on the web. (link)






So, keep on keep'n on, and till then,
"Please ask your question or leave your comment now!"



Humor

Saturday, December 1, 2007

Welcome



Welcome to the new "Ask Dr. Jim" (blog)!

I am really excited about this as it will be a 2nd anniversary blog.
.
JIM'S LITTLE BLOG was created December 1, 2006, 1st anniversary blog.

JIM'S LITTLE PHOTO PLACE was created first December 1, 2007.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -



Please feel free to check those out at any time.

This blog is a response blog, where I will only respond to questions readers and/or acquaintances have.

Disclaimer:

1. NOTHING IN THIS BLOG SHOULD BE RELIED UPON WHERE YOUR SAFETY, FINANCES, OR LOVE LIFE MAY BE AFFECTED.

2. IT IS INTENDED FOR THE AMUSEMENT OF QUESTIONERS AND READERS ONLY.

3. EVERYTHING, INCLUDING MATERIAL WRITTEN BY DR. JIM AND HIS PHOTOS SUBMITTED IN THIS BLOG IS COPYRIGHT BY JIMMIEHOV, A.K.A. JIM OR DOCTOR NAME AND MY REAL NAME WHICH IS NOT DISCLOSED HEREIN. THOSE ITEMS WHICH OBVIOUSLY ARE NOT JIM'S MATERIALS BELONG TO THEIR CREATOR AND MAY BE COPYRIGHT BY THOSE PERSONS OR ENTITIES.

4. ANY PERSON OR ENTITY RELYING ON THE ADVICE HEREIN WILL HOLD DR. JIM (AND ALIAS) HARMLESS AND NO LIABILITY TO THAT PERSON OR ENTITY WILL ENSUE.

5. DR. JIM RESERVES THE RIGHT TO DELETE AND COMMENT NOT DEEMED BY HIM TO BE IN PROPER ETHICS OR MORALS. DR. JIM HAS SEVERAL JUVENILE READERS, SO PLEASE ASK YOURSELF "WOULD YOU WANT YOUR CHILD TO BE READING MATERIAL LIKE THIS?"

6. IN KEEPING WITH ITEM # 5 ABOVE, DR. JIM WILL EMPLOY COMMENT MODERATION ON THIS BLOG.


Having said that, please feel free to pose questions for Dr. Jim.

Some favorite topics I (Dr. Jim) like to deal with concern the following subjects:
Marital life;


Dogs, especially about Adi ;
Pets in general care advice;


Biblical questions; and
Automobile and other mechanical advice.


There may be many other areas where you might decide will make for cleaver reading by the readers.

If your question stumps Dr. Jim that will be a very good thing. It shows that Dr. Jim really doesn't know everything.

Now get to asking questions. Please do this by leaving a comment. Your inquiry will be e-mailed directly to Dr. Jim before publication here. IF YOU DO NOT WISH YOUR COMMENT DISPLAYED, PLEASE TELL ME THIS IN YOUR COMMENT.

Dr. Jim will answer questions from anonymous comments but priority will be given to those persons who identify themselves. You may identify yourself with a reliable blog address or e-mail address which I belief belongs to you.
.



If you are really in a hurry try Google or Wikipedia. Those places are where I find a lot of my help.

There may be other rules that develop as we go along.

NOW, GET TO ASKING!!