Dear Dr. Jim
My wife always has to be right. It is very annoying and leads to some disagreements. She still argues even when she know she is wrong. She says she gets it from her parents but I am not sure. They seem normal so I am sure that is not the case. How should I handle these instances when she is wrong?
George and Weezy
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Admitting the problem is half the battle in instances like this. I'm glad Weezy has admitted her problem. I suspect she is shifting the blame a little here, to her parents. Remember Eve blamed the snake for enticing poor old Adam into eating that forbidden dangerous pear and it didn't work. see Note 1
That said, George, have you examined your attitude in this situation? Could it be possible that it is natural to be wanting to be right? And that you also are wanting to "always ... be right?"
Lastly, remember the age old adage, "What is normal?" Even psychologists don't know the answer to that! see Note 2
You say her parents are 'normal.' What if they are normal and also always want to be right? Would this make "also always want[ing] to be right" normal?
One caveat here: By all means remember the old adage, "when Momma ain't happy, nobody is."
Notes
1. Genesis 3:13 Then the LORD God said to the woman, "What is this you have done?"
The woman said, "The serpent deceived me, and I ate."(link)
2. Pendulum Resources. Your gateway to affective disorders on the web. (link)
So, keep on keep'n on, and till then,
"Please ask your question or leave your comment now!"
Psychology Marriage Advice Humor
2 comments:
I come from a large Italian family known for it's unusually long and happy marriages. My Italian grandfather (may he rest in peace) was known for taking young would-be-grooms aside in the kitchen of my grandparents house, and showing them a small ceramic plaque they kept over the stove. It said "Mia moglie a sempre ragione".
"This', my Grandfather of loving memory would say, " is the secret to a happy marriage". If they spoke Italian they would simply smile, and nod knowingly, with maybe a little chuckle. If not, they would inquire as to the English translation. Papa would point conspiratorily at the side of his nose, and looking deeply into their eyes he would say "It means "My Wife is always right". Or as some people will say "If Mama ain't happy, aint nobody happy". Be wise, pick your battles. It's better than packing your bags.
It usually happens when one partner knows about one big wrong thing of other partner. It might be possible that you have revealed some bigger issues in front of your wife and she is thinking like that you are wrong even in front of her little mistakes. She accounts her mistakes very little for you mistake and always think like that I am right always because what you have done in your past is not permissible to your wife. Wife usually does these things in irritation, it might be due to lack of interest in sex may be something other issue. But the main relationship problem is that you both are not talking about the real cause of her such behavior. You can take the help of marriage counselors to completely reveal your thinking, desires from each other.
http://www.marriage-counselors.net/
Post a Comment