How often should he change his underwear (he won't change them)

Dear Dr. Jim

Houston, we have a problem.

My husband won't change his underwear. He says he will change it, when it gets embarrassing sized holes.

For sure I want him to have nice looking underwear, how can I get him to change?

Clean Lady in Utah

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Dear Clean Lady

Oh my goodness, at first I misunderstood you. I thought that hubby was wearing his underwear even when it got dirty until he wore holes in it.

Now I see, you want him to change out his underwear before it gets to looking to bad.

I doubt he has changed his habits much since you married him, so you will just have to live with him the way he is. STOP TRYING TO CHANGE HIM. He won't and he will resent you for working on him like you do.

If you want to blame someone you can blame his mother. He probably never changed his underwear out. Or changed it for clean for that matter. I was that way.

Mom would get my used underwear whether dirty or not each night after I went to bed. She would lay out clean underwear for me to put on the next morning along with my other clean clothes. I just thought that was something moms did.

And she would buy me new underwear before it ever got holes in it. Even when we were dirt poor.

When I left home I remember her telling me to be sure not to wear holey underwear just in case I would get into an accident and have to go to the hospital.

Hospitals seem to like nice looking underwear so I came to understand, and to this day if I am driving I put on good underwear. I wear the holey ones around the house and when doing yard work, etc.

Now for you. Buy him new underwear. My estimate is that it should be changed every year to have it looking nice. Just take his old underwear and put in new.

For years Mrs. Jim did that for me. Until we retired, now it is up to me. I must say I don't always put fresh on each morning and some of them have really bad holes. And that is the price you will keep on paying unless you take matters into your own hands.

I hope this helped.

Dr. Jim

Here are some references for you on changing out underwear, wearing clean underway every day, and holey underwear.



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'Perplexed' lady left way before "at the alter", what to do?

Dear Dr. Jim

Hi. I have been courted by a nice man for a few months now; he has spoken of marriage and my moving in; I never brought up the subject.

I told him I was hesitant to get involved at this point with my brother dieing and loosing my job all in the same month he wanted to start dating.

He still seemed quite smitten the last time we were together, but then he did not call for 3 days and then quickly got off the phone and said he would call back soon before he left for a week long retreat.

I have never heard from him again; it has been over a week. What is the writing on the wall if any? He seemed like quite a stable sensible loving and honest man;

I am perplexed.


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Dear 'Perplexed'

Well, as much as I hate to say it, I do believe this guy was hurting.

Please do not take this personally, but be prepared to go on. They have taught me that there are other fish in the sea. Now you continue with your business; do some occasional fishing when it seems right.

First of all, he came on pretty strong wanting you to give that much dedication to you (moving in or marriage). Yes, to speak and hint is probably acceptable but if he was sincere in his asking then he should be prepared to accept waiting.

Secondly, it seems that he was overwhelmed by your unexpected answer. It seems to me that if he was starting to care for you in a permanent way he would be concerned for your situation, offer you some condolences, and possibly even offer some assistance when you were needing.

Now he may have been thinking about this for those three days and decided he did not want to make a commitment this great at this time. Or that he thought since you now were unemployed that the sharing living arrangement would be helping.

I suppose we will never know.

Now, what happened to him? His plane could have crashed. He could have gone back to an "ex" that he hadn't told you about. Or just plain got cold feet.

If you haven't seen him by now (I was sort of waiting to see if he had reappeared in your life) then he is avoiding you or you don't go where he is anymore.

What to do?

You could call him. Just to have closure on this matter, see if he is alright physically and tell him you have enjoyed his company while it lasted. AND THEN, ask him where in the H*ll he has been and that it was very inconsiderate for him to not call you.

Or write him off as a loser. Yes, he may be timid and undecided and not know what or how to do anything about your situation from here on out.

If you really care for him and you think after all this that he is genuine but lacking the tact or courage to carry on, you could talk to a specialist in this area.

I would suggest your pastor if you have one and if you want him to know of this situation. If you would rather he not know, then find pastor in a different church that has an active singles ministry.

I hope this helps a little bit, this is a delicate time in your life.

Dr. Jim

One last item, my Mom used to tell me (quite often) that I would not find a nice girl in a bar. I have always remembered that.

All people have quirks, I have a lot, just ask Mrs. Jim. But she didn't find me in a bar, rather at a social gathering where friends and neighbors were gathered for a meal. Dr. Jim


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Wants to train dog her dog not to howl -- dog disrupts family sleeping habits

Dear Dr. Jim

My question:
So, how did you get to be 106 years old, so soon?

But really:
I have a rescue Siberian husky/German shepherd/wolf-in-the-woodpile mix. He ululates every morning about 5:23am to go for an iditerod.

I've had the dog about 9 months, and have grown very attached to him, but this behavior gets me up every morning. It's interfering with my already pathetic love life.

Whatever should I do about it (the dog howling, not my love life)? Please don't say get rid of the dog or my male companion. I'm fond of them both, pretty much equally.

Tired in Oregon

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Dear Tired

Oh dear! Houston, we have a problem. No not with my age. For that take my age, multiply it times 70, add 25, divide by 33 and subtract 12. Then divide by 2.5 and multiply by two and subtract 20. That will be approximately 106.

Now with the sleeping problem. Go to bed earlier, the doggie will howl earlier, let him outside for a bit (put your robe on if it is cold weather), then you all go back to bed and sleep until your regular time.

Dogs can be trained not to howl. Our dog, Adi, only howls on demand or if she is ready for ice cream and beddy-bye late at night.

This is what DogTrainingClassroom.com has to say about breaking the Siberian Husky of howling:

"Your dog may make noise as its way of communication to you when he is lonely or bored. Your dog may howl to seek attention from you. However excessive howling can irritate therefore, training your dog not to howl or make noise is of utmost importance. There are a few simple solutions to solve this problem:

• For the first few days, try to ignore your dog when he/she goes into a howling fit for no apparent reason as any attention will reinforce the behavior. Praise your dog when he becomes quiet.
• Do use a squirt gun to spray water on your dog if excessive howling persists. This is to disrupt its behavior and your dog will associate howling as an unpleasant experience.
• Do praise and reward your dog immediately after it stops making noises and not ten minutes after. Your dog will not understand the reason for the discipline.
• Do use an anti bark collar for further training whenever you are not around and your dog is not fully train yet so as to be thoughtful to thy neighbors."
  http://www.dogtrainingclassroom.com/siberian-husky-training.html at the bottom.
  

I hope this helps. Above all, do not get rid of the mate or the dog!

But hurry and stop the dog from ululating or the mate might get rid of you both. Or get you both trained to get up with him every morning. You could read the newspaper, ours has come by then.

You might even train him to bring you the paper for you.

Thank you for your confidence, Dr. Jim

[We do have a new (to us) toy poodle who will take a running socks from my shoes if I leave them laying on the floor. It looks like she'll be training me to put them away in the dirty clothes basket.]

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Sue just wants to be hairy (armpits) -- Husband opposed

Dear Dr. Jim

It just isn't fair! Why do women have to shave their armpits.

Didn't God make us with hair there before he allowed man to create the razor?

Please help me, Dr. Jim.

My husband insists that I would be a smelly woman if I didn't shave and has even threatened to sleep in another room. He says I would be disgusting and not sexy at all!

Wanna be Hairy Sue in Ardmore

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Dear Hairy Sue (Did you know that rhymes with Mary Sue?)

This is a very delicate situation that we are in here. I would like to see your armpits shaved and unshaven, I think that would help us a lot here.

But since we won't be able to do that, let's try the next best thing.

Ask you husband if the TWO OF YOU could have a trial run at this.

Both of you will have to work at this. If just one of you gives in it could lead to the downfall of your marriage.

Marriage is a 50-50 proposition, or pretty close to it, at least it should be. If one spouse just arbitrarily gives in that could set a precedence for losing control of ones self. None of us wants that to happen, these issues often lead to divorce.

Now, lets look at the hair armpit thing. Just a lot of European women do not shave under their armpits. Both the ladies and their menfolk think it is sexy.

Granted the body odor takes on a strong scent, but it is more like an animal aroma, one who is in the hunt for sex. Or who has been having sex lately and is ready for some more. People become very accustomed to this and some say it even enhances their love lives.

These were a couple of links I found with Google. What I found mainly was not conclusive at all. Be careful if you go there because some are distasteful to say the least about them.

One article not referred suggested that when the razor was invented shaven women were promoted as being sexier in order to promote razor sales to a new market.

A couple of references which are OK and to our point:
YouTube on Hairy Armpits (has pretty girl, seems sexy)
Paris Hilton is purported to be bringing hairy armpits back (link)

Hope this helps, I think I would like my wife to try not shaving but she won't.

Dr. Jim

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Addendum: September 25, 2008.

After further consideration I am telling Ms. Hairy Sue to go for all or nothing. If the hubby doesn't like it then he should hit the road. Period. You see, a woman's body is hers alone (and with God, of course--Romans 12) to do with it what she pleases.

Why do I say this? Roe vs. Wade gives all women in this grand United States that right, the right of privacy! The opinion was geared to right for a woman to choose to have an abortion but will equally apply to growing hair under her armpits if she wishes.

You might ask, "why should she be so harsh with the old man?" The answer is that making him sleep elsewhere was his idea, he would win. He presented Ms. Hairy with an either/or ultimatum. That doesn't go, she should do what she wants.

I hope this helps even more, Dr. Jim

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Rainy in Texas wants to know about shots for travel

Hey, Professor:

It was nice to meet you. I forgot to ask tonight: "Do we need to take any shots before the trip to Guatemala?"

Plus, thank you very much for your help with getting my car started. Now I can go out there in the morning and fiddle with it and get it over to the dealer.

Oscar in Rainy Texas

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Ok Rainy

1. Make sure your shots are up to date for your own protection.

2. Bring mosquito repellent in your checked luggage.

3. Bring gloves for lifting.

4. Maybe more that I can't think of right now.

I think a tetanus shot is most important, you could cut your finger on the paint brush or a piece of concrete you are moving.

One of the attachments may tell about that, I can't remember right now. I had a tetanus two years ago, I'm not sure about Mrs. Jim.

And mosquitoes can be a problem, bring repellent (in your checked suitcase).

Another thing to do is check the CDC site and their reco's for Guatemala.

http://www.cdc.gov/Features/SpringTravel/

Especially item three here!

A neat site for any time place look-ups is http://wwwn.cdc.gov/travel/destinationList.aspx

From that I found this. Our areas aren't the high risk areas for malaria.

http://wwwn.cdc.gov/travel/destinationGuatemala.aspx

We did take malaria pills to China.

Hope this helps, Dr. Jim

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Eating ice cream gives her headaches -- my explanation and remedy?

Dear Dr. Jim

I have a question that isn't too terribly important. But it did seem you needed someone to write in with one. Besides I get a lot of humiliation from my husband about this item.

It seems that I get headaches easily whenever I eat ice cream.

My husband is no help at all, he usually says, "Dummy, don't take such big bites."

Like I use the big spoon or something. Humph!

Susan Aspirin Eater Not By Choice in Hoeboeken

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Well, Susan (oh you Dummy, you ),

Thank you for your write-in generosity. You have given me a Lulu.

First, ice cream is much colder than ice. Our bodies were made to handle ice nicely as many times the Indians and other savages had to drink out of frozen streams in the winter. Also eating snow is a part of our natural constitutionality.

So, eating that cold ice cream is not of the norm as ice cream is not found in nature. Therefore it overwhelms our natural ability to cope with temperatures ingested; it is out of range, low.

FYI, nominal ice cream temperature is 23°F. That temperature rapidly shrinks the sinuses of most humans so much that it is painful.

Another side effect of eating ice cream is sinus infections. Not because the ice cream is cold, but because of all the ingredients of commercially made ice cream.
........Typical bad ingredients found in ice cream:
"In the following paragraph we present you a list of the most damaging ice-cream ingredients: amyl acetate, amyl butyrate, amyl valerate, benzyl isobutyrate, butyric acid, benzyl acetate, anysil formate, cinnamyl isobutyrate, cinnamyl valerate, diacetyl, dipropil ketone, ethyl acetate, ethyl amyl ketone, cognac essential oil, ethyl heptanoate, ethyl butyrate, ethyl nitrate, ethyl cinnamate, ethyl propionate, ethyl valerate, heliotropin, a-ionone, isobutyl anthranilate, isobutyl butyrate, lemon methyl heptine carbonate, methyl salicylate, mint essential oil, neryl isobutyrate, orris butter, rose, run ether, vanillin and solvents." (source, Enzine@Articles)

That ought to scare hubby off ice cream, you don't eat it because it's too cold, he doesn't eat it now because of all the harmful additives.

Homemade ice cream is good for you, it contains only what you put into it. I WOULD NOT PUT RAW EGGS IN HOMEMADE ICE CREAM. Raw eggs are a cause of some terrible sicknesses.

Hope this helped,

Dr. Jim

If you make some homemade, can I lick the dasher?



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Learning how to ride a bicycle

Dear Dr. Jim

This is almost embarrassing, but here goes with my problem!

I am a grown lady, somewhere between ages 35 and 70. Doggone it all to Heck, but I have forgotten how to ride a bicycle. My grandkids want me to ride with them and I just plain have forgotten how.

Can you give me help on learning how to ride a bicycle, please!

Very frustrated Little Biker-chick Lady


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Dear L' Biker-chick Lady

This is certainly exceedingly bad, especially in your case with the grandkids.

I hope this will help you some, let's think about a few ways for you to relearn this precious skill.

How old are your grandkids? I ask because if they are almost teenagers or older they very well may have taught some younger one how to ride. Of course if they don't know of your dilemma this would be embarrassing for you to ask.

When in doubt, it is always a safe bet to ask your preacher if you have one. I DID DETECT SOME ALMOST CUSSING IN YOUR LETTER, this may not be an option for you. Those guys are asked to help all the time in ways you could not even imagine. And if they themselves haven't taught riding, they can find another clergy who could.

Go to the library and check out a book on Learning to Ride a Bicycle. THE LATE BLOOMER’S REVOLUTION: A MEMOIR, By Amy Cohen, Hyperion, 288 pages, $23.95 is great. Try Amazon.com or your favorite bookseller if you want to buy it. Read a review here. See, you aren't alone in this predicament.

Here is a device to help you learn. (link to video) You install it on your bike's front wheels. Made mostly to help teach kids but it works for all, it sells for about $39.95.

I have probably given you something helpful here. Generally it comes naturally after you learn--and instinct takes over really soon--to turn into the way the bike wants to tip.

Have your bandaids and Iodine ready. Bye for now, your frustrations will soon be over.

Please give me some feed back on this,

Dr. Jim



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A quarterly or so check-up on who is asking or reading what

Dear Dr. Jim

Just was wonderin', does anybody read your help blog and what postings do they used the most?

Curious Georgette (again)

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Dear C.G.

Yes, and I'm glad you asked that question.

The Ask Dr. Jim (blog) is getting about twelve hits or clicks a day, either by direct link or favorite or via Google. This one is the least of my three active blogs but I am quite satisfied with it.

About each time a new topic is added it gains one or two clicks a day. So keep on asking questions.

You might like the following rundown the numbers on the left are click per 100 clicks. You can see that most, a readership of about 23%, or a quarter of you, go directly to the site's front or latest feature.

23	http://jimmiehov8.blogspot.com/
12	http://jimmiehov8.blogspot.com...lley-bearings-stupid-wife.html
9	http://jimmiehov8.blogspot.com...ow-with-aging-still-young.html
9	http://jimmiehov8.blogspot.com...-go-anyplace-anymore-says.html
8	http://jimmiehov8.blogspot.com...uthern-gentlemen-man-from.html
7	http://jimmiehov8.blogspot.com...es-on-furniture-reader-is.html
6	http://jimmiehov8.blogspot.com...-leads-to-marriage-wishes.html
4	http://jimmiehov8.blogspot.com/2008/03/dear-dr.html
3	http://jimmiehov8.blogspot.com...na-dig-hole-to-china-just.html
2	http://jimmiehov8.blogspot.com...ve-1987-chevy-pickup-with.html
2	http://jimmiehov8.blogspot.com.../is-his-wife-always-right.html
2	http://jimmiehov8.blogspot.com...igers-eat-and-kill-why-do.html
2	http://jimmiehov8.blogspot.com...ife-left-what-can-he-have.html
2	http://jimmiehov8.blogspot.com...as-uncontrolled-blog-rage.html
2	http://jimmiehov8.blogspot.com...aughter-distraught-father.html
1	unknown
1	file:///C:/Documents and Setti...g Is his wife always right.htm
1	http://jimmiehov8.blogspot.com
1	http://jimmiehov8.blogspot.com/2007/12/dear-dr_09.html
1	http://jimmiehov8.blogspot.com...did-this-dumb-guy-come-to.html
1	http://jimmiehov8.blogspot.com...hocolate-cake-la-snickers.html
1	http://jimmiehov8.blogspot.com...rson-la-firebug-wishes-he.html

I was surprised that so many would be looking at the car question about idler bearing pulleys.

Readers can click on any link to see what question about a given popular topic is all about.

I hope this helps, reader feedback is encouraged, put it on the question posting if you wish to remain confidential.

I would also hope a new question would be triggered by some when these postings are read by the readers. Please feel free to "ask Dr. Jim" and new questions you may wish to see how I answer them.

Dr. Jim


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Nobody likes me, everybody hates me

Dear Dr. Jim

Everybody hates me. I just know that. And I have been knowing it for quite a while.

I think it started when I was a smart eliki (sic) kid in grade school. The teachers would beat me with a yard stick. The other kids all made fun of me.

Then I would cuss them all out and a bunch of them would hold me down and wash my mouth with soap.

It has gone from that bad to much worse now. Not with teachers but with the relatives and the few friends I used to have. Of course they don't beat me but they do avoid me.

Even my wife of thirteen years left last year. I am not abusive, physically or verbally. I just don't understand it.

Help me, Dr. Jim, please

Mr. Whak Johnson in Johnson City

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Dear Mr. Johnson

I think I can help you but you will have to help too.

Smart-alack kids generally generate animosity all around. Perhaps your parents defended you? Or even encouraged your behavior? Maybe you didn't start that way, but were incorrectly blamed.

It would be hard for you to know why you had that label but it seemed to have stuck with you. That is too bad, but not insurmountable even at an older age (I note you call yourself "Mr.").

Living in Johnson City is hard for you, were your early relatives the founders? If so this could lead the townspeople to have great expectations from you.

I found this Poem By John Simone, How To Behave In Public (link). As silly as it may seem, please read it and take every line to heart. Carry it with you and practice doing these things.

If your job permits or you can change jobs easily I suggest you pick up and move away. That way you can get a new start on life. Try to make it a good one. Get a new 'nice' reputation.

There are also books for self help, the larger book stores have many on reputation improvement. That seems to me to be all you need, is to get yourself a good reputation.

If your finances can afford it, professional help can sometimes be beneficial in these areas.

I hope this helps, Dr. Jim

BTW, I would note that many comedians got their start by getting good attention. They do this by doing things to make people laugh. A funny guy is generally a likable one. Dr. Jim



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Her husband has uncontrolled blog rage as well as controlled road rage

Dear Dr. Jim

Please, Dr. Jim, I need help FAST!

My husband has uncontrollable rage when he gets on his computer and uses the Internet with his (sic) glob.

He is prone to violent 'madness,' the doctor and I made him stop driving because he had the worst case of road rage ever. It is a wonder no one got killed then.

I am open to any suggestions.

Harried Wife in Kudzu Tennessee

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Dear H. W.

I feel really sorry for your predicament, but more sorrowfully yet for your dear hubby. Having rage is like being an alcholic or having cancer, one can control it but it can never be cured.

He is working with BLOGS, not GLOBS. Blogs are mainly a social network of online friends, some are political (or other favorite cause like religion, etc) in nature. Actually Ask Dr. Jim (blog) is a blog.

Let's get to it.

First, is he ever violent towards you? You don't seem worried but if it happens leave immediately until you two get professional help.

Second, I am a firm believer that there is such a thing as BLOG RAGE. This is a relatively new phenomenon, mainly because blogs are so new.

Third, you should consult a professional again, probably the one he trusts who worked with you both in the road rage situation.

Fourth, I believe you and the doctor may have to take away the keys to his computer (literally there aren't keys, so cut the plug off) of his computer away from him like you did the car.

Fifth, please read some online items about the newest of rages, blog rage (click here). I have found about 6,780 articles for you and the other readers. [For some articles about controlling road rage, click here.]

Please get action very soon before someone does get hurt.

Dr. Jim.

p.s. H. W, you are invited to keep on reading stuff on your computer, it is a wonderful learning tool. Perhaps this drastic action I suggested may not be necessary or at least not be permanent. Leave that to the doctor/professional.

Writing the blog(s) helps him keep his mind going, just pray he gets it going in the right direction. Dr. Jim



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"My wife is always late" says husband, "we need to know how to stop being late"

Dear Dr. Jim

My wife is always late. She is late for everything we do or that she does alone.

I have tried every kind of measures that I can think of and nothing changes.

Even for church she will be so late that we come when the offering is being taken up. If we have a reservation, we will invariably be 20 to 40 minutes late.

I have been fed up with this for years now, it is driving me crazy, and, ... Well we won't go into that here.

Please, oh please, Dr. Jim, I need your advice.

Late Husband, Paul, in Pascagoula


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Dear L.H. Paul

Lateness can be a chronic problem which should be addressed.

You scared me for a moment when you called yourself "Late Husband." Do you know what that means?

You remind me of a widowed preacher who told a would be match maker that he just wanted a 'one night stand.' The woman asked him, "Sir, do you know what that means?" His reply was, "Well, maybe not."

Let me ask you something: could you put up with being late for another four or so years? Answer that question and you will see how badly you really dislike this situation your wife has placed you in.

I will let you draw your own conclusions about putting up some more. It may not be just her fault, exam youself and your conduct here.

There is another set of questions that need to be answered. Knowing these will help you tackle this objectively.

Does you wife know of your disdain for her being late? Does she try to be on time? Does she make silly excuses to you for why she is being late? How does she explain her tardiness to others who are affected?

There are a few solutions I generally suggest the couple trying. None are very awful good, try more than one idea:
1. Go off and leave her.
2. Put a bad conduct list on the refrigerator. One column for every member of the family. Then anyone make an entry when they think another is bad.
3. Have a separate car for your wife .
4. Check this link, have your wife check it if she is willing. (link)
5. From the first on the above Web site, Penelope Trunk, I like #5 (link).
"Be honest with yourself. Why do you let yourself be late? It is disrespectful and makes you look unorganized and out of control. Why are you not getting control over your time. So much about being on time is actually about self-knowledge. Often, we are scared to make the decisions that we must make in order to get control over our time and become someone who runs on schedule. But there is no other way to run a life. To run on schedule is to plan the life you want to live and execute that plan."

Just remember this and it may help you (again, from Penelope Trunk), "If you are a person who is always late, you will get in trouble. People who are always late think they are only sometimes late, so if you think you are sometimes late, you are probably in trouble."

Remember too, the daisies fade after a few days but their seed remains forever. (Dr. Jim's wisdom here) You can go a long way with this. So you two just get started on something constructive.

Speaking of long, this got long. I hope you can gleam a little,

Dr. Jim


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Pyromania? Arson? -- L.A. firebug wishes he wasn't one. -- Good? Bad? Right? Wrong? Who knows?

Dear Dr. Jim

Doctor, I hope you can help me. I have this fear that I am a firebug waiting to happen.

Almost every day I play with matches and several butane lighters that I have collected. I light candles for no reason, I am not even religious. I burn my trash in the backyard at times when no one is watching.

My wife gave me such a hard time that now I do all this in secret. She threatened to leave me if I didn't 'straighten up.'

Likes Fire Horace in La La Land.

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OK, and O O, L.F. Bad news for you, you may be a latent pyromaniac.

I did check on firebugs a little because I actually hadn't dealt with any so far in my career.

The law is very hard on firebugs if they start a fire of a public building or property belonging to another. The crime is arson which carries a stiff prison sentence as a penalty. Here are links to a couple of old New York Times articles concerning this crime of arson. Link 1 Link 2 Each makes interesting reading.

Pyromania is the name for having an irresistible impulse to start fires. There has been controversy about whether the condition arises from mental illness or moral deficiency. Psychiatrists have been working on determination of which one.

Please read this article very carefully: [Wikipedia].

I am 99.999% certain that it can be either. At any rate, watch yourself and try to curb your fire setting. Moral deficiency means you are not using good judgement about the difference between good and bad. This can be straightened out and your wife has the right ideas concerning this situation.

On the other hand if it is due to a mental illness situation professional (psychiatric in nature) can certainly help you. Almost all mental situations can either be cured, modified, or curbed with help of proper care.

Whichever your situation, if the behavior continues to the extent of committing arson, help is often lacking or minimal in the crowded confinement institutions (prisons). And in your case I almost hope it is a mental area where you lack the ability to determine right from wrong as this is actually easier for the professional to cope with.

I hope this helps you to see the need get help very soon. Check with a professional for help right away before it is too late.

Dr. Jim

Oh yes, please leave your matches and lighters before you come to my house.

Don't take your fire to town son
Leave your fire at home O.F.
Don't take your fire to town

Johnny Cash song link.

Dr. Jim




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Wayward daughter, distraught father

Dear Dr. Jim

I am going through a change of life over this horrible situation.

Our daughter has dropped out of school and keeps atrocious hours. She seldom comes home before four in the morning anymore. When I ground her, she sneaks out the window.

Now besides her wild night life and working at the Chili King in the afternoons, she has pulled the last straw. She is engaged and will be married next week. Don't you thing a two week engagement is too short.

The young man she duped is very gullible and is a hard working fellow. I feel sorry for him.

Do you think marriage might cure her of her wayward ways?

Distraught Father in Georgia

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Dear D'd Father

You should be asking if I think that guy will keep her. You sure don't want her back!

That wasn't very nice of me to say, of course, all fathers want their daughters back if they aren't happy where they are. Mainly, fathers just want daughters to be happy.

I might add, this is the big problem here, daughter obviously isn't happy living a quiet family life at her house now. She has been looking for a change.

Sometimes change in a new beginning is all it takes to bring someone back to reality, and I might add, to their senses again.

I will wish all concerned the best. If this fellow and she hit it off this could be the marriage to end all! All of one bad life and the beginning of a new happy (married now) life again!

I hope this helps, just wait and see how it works out.

Dr. Jim


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Robert wants to know how to save gas

Dear Dr. Jim

I am tired of these high gasoline prices.

Could you please give me a blueprint for saving gas?

Frustrated, Robert in San Diego

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Sure Robert, that will be easy for me.

First I would caution you not to do it. It isn't safe for the general public to save gasoline. There have been too many fires started that way, gasoline fumes escape ever so easy and then seem to find their way to a ignitor (like a light switch sparking, someone lighting a cigarette, etc.).

Second, there are a lot of people giving advice right now on how to save on gasoline expenses.

My best advice for you would be to move out of San Diego where prices are among the highest in the U.S. Why don't you move to Texas where they make gasoline, it is much cheaper over there. Texas generally has gas for fifty to seventy-five cents less than your town.

If you don't want to move, try doing most of these items I found by doing a Google.

I hope this helps, perhaps I will see you around here in Texas!

Dr. Jim


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Recipe for chocolate cake à la Snickers help needed by Ms. Reader in Farawayland

Dear Dr. Jim

Today is Friday 13th.

Tomorrow we will be 13 people gathered round our table for shrimps,lemon, bread, sour cream/shrimp salad, wine, veggie salad, snacks, frozen strawberries, ice cake and so on, but no cake so far for the cognac.

I could need a good and easy recipe for a chocolate cake à la Snickers, my favorite chocolate.

Got any ideas??

From Just'a Reader in Farawayland

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Dear Ms. Reader

Mrs. Jim left for golfing about 30 minutes ago. She may have had a recipe.

I did what Dr. Jim of Ask Dr. Jim (blog) would do, I Googled snickers cake recipe and got this link. Some of those recipes sounded pretty good, why don't you look at them an 'just pick one.'

Please beware, since today, Friday the 13th (June) is Kitchen Klutzes of America Day (link for U.S. celebration days). I wouldn't dare try making that cake today here in Texas, it may be OK to do it where you live.

I hope this helps. If I lived closer I might try to get an invite to your hoop-de-do!

Dr. Jim



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Reader statistics about Ask Dr. Jim (blog)

Dear Dr. Jim

I don't have a problem in the world but it seems those other people sure do.

What is the most commonly asked question? How do they find a previous post of yours on the subject?

Curious Betsy Boomer in Auswasia

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Happy to oblige you, B.B.

Here are the statistics showing how many viewers out of a hundred (100) recently asked about the various subjects; Sort of like a percent readership report for each post.

21 opted for just plain "Ask Dr. Jim (blog)"	http://jimmiehov8.blogspot.com/
18 were concerned about their growing earlobes	http://jimmiehov8.blogspot.com/2008/01/do-earlobes-grow-with-aging-still-young.html
11 wanted to know about the eating habits of lions and/or rabbits	http://jimmiehov8.blogspot.com/2008/01/why-do-tigers-eat-and-kill-why-do.html
11 really needed to know about the idler pulley and/or idler bearings on their cars	http://jimmiehov8.blogspot.com/2008/04/cars-idler-pulley-bearings-stupid-wife.html
8 + 1 wanted their sons to become southern gentlemen [the +1 is counting the last one (1) on this list]	http://jimmiehov8.blogspot.com/2008/05/wife-wants-southern-gentlemen-man-from.html
7 had those terrible cats peeing on their furniture	http://jimmiehov8.blogspot.com/2008/01/her-cat-pees-on-furniture-reader-is.html
5 had girlfriend problems which are always a pain	http://jimmiehov8.blogspot.com/2008/01/boy-friend-has-problem-with-girl-friend.html
3 were disappointed that their wives didn't cook as good as their Mother cooked	http://jimmiehov8.blogspot.com/2008/03/dear-dr.html
3 were disappointed with their girls friends who are acting like Britney Spears	http://jimmiehov8.blogspot.com/2008/03/his-wife-is-gorgeous-girl-in-lot-of.html
3 were worried whether or not their on-line dating would lead to marriage	http://jimmiehov8.blogspot.com/2008/03/online-dating-leads-to-marriage-wishes.html
2 had concerns that his wife thinks she is always right	http://jimmiehov8.blogspot.com/2007/12/is-his-wife-always-right.html
2 wanted to know about disappearing forever	http://jimmiehov8.blogspot.com/2008/04/how-do-people-disappear-fellow-with.html
1	http://64.233.169.104/search?q=cache:fKTdkLap5tAJ:jimmiehov8.blogspot.com/2008/05/lap-top-computer-battery-charge.html
1	http://jimmiehov8.blogspot.com/2007/01/more-problems-with-christmas-gift.html
1	http://jimmiehov8.blogspot.com/2007/12/dig-to-china-dig-hole-to-china-just.html
1	http://jimmiehov8.blogspot.com/2008/03/grandchild-relations-should-she-remain.html
1	http://jimmiehov8.blogspot.com/2008/03/so-angry-i-could-rip-his-ears-off-says.html
1	http://jimmiehov8.blogspot.com/2008/05/wife-wants-southern-gentlemen-man-from.html?showComment=1211472300000

You can check these last few single reader ones out yourself; just click on them. My favorite, digging through to China, generally gets higher marks.

The list will become more diversified as I am helping more and more people in their life situations.

Most people find me through a search engine, such as Google or Yahoo.

This post answered an unusual question of one who had no problems. Most readers do have a problem.

Just a little curious myself, but how did you find out about me?

I hope this helps you a whole lot,

Dr. Jim




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Wife left, what can he have?

Dear Dr. Jim

This is very simple, but I need an answer fast!

My wife is leaving me and she wants most of our stuff. What can she have? To be nice I have let her have the seven kids, but now she want so much more.

Looking to be single, Pat in Woe Land

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Dear Pat

Guy, bone up! Any wife that has seven kids is deserving a loving husband, for sure you probably were mainly thinking of only one kind of love. [Hint: read 'the five kinds of love' (link) and try always in your relationships to maintain the proper balance of these]

It isn't too late to change, but I doubt your wife will come back. So, try to love her for the person she is, the mother of those seven kids, and don't cause any grief.

Start first in a loving manner (remember, the kids will benefit too) by giving her most of your worldly possessions. With seven kids the judge won't let you keep much anyway.

My best advice is for you both to have a good lawyer. Come to an agreement quickly, don't run up your legal fees over 'stuff' arguments.

Here is a list of things most women let the husband have, followed by my experience for each:

1. The dog or other pet. I didn't get either!

2. Your car or truck. I did get that, it was a '62 VW bug. She got the nice station wagon (remember it is for the kids too!).

3. The debts and bills. I got all of those, most credit cards were maxed and the store cards had high balances. I did get them all paid off, you can too.

4. The TV. Yes, I got the old one out in the garage.

5. Your tools. I got those.

6. Your ring. I had lost my ring in Dam B Lake (link) several years before. 'Nuf said.

This list came from a TV program, but it was a survey of 100 women and gives a fairly accurate idea of the generous thinking of those ladies.

Think about things, be realistic and loving still (but rebalance those five kinds of love now since you won't be married any more--i.e. nil on the Eros) and best of all, GET HAPPY and move to Happy Land, which is far away from your Woe Land.

I hope this helps, always,

Dr. Jim





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Wife wants a southern gentlemen man from her son when he grows up!

Dear Dr. Jim

My husband and I are having a disagreement. I'm trying to raise up my kid like a little southern gentleman but my husband isn't much help.

I could go on and on about the faults on my list that my old geezer has, but I'll only name a few that are appropriate for my question today:
1. he was born in Ohio. There is nothing southern about Ohio so how would he know anything about anything southern in the first place?
2. he is an ignorant old cuss. He only went to the sixth grade and that was because his grandma would whip him if he stayed home; and
3. he cusses a lot. Southern gentlemen revere everything sacred and don't hardly even say H*ll or d*ng. He says both of these and won't even fly the southern flag for me.

I hope this gives you a hint of what I'm going through. We moved here from Boston and I just want my boy to have all the advantages we don't have. People actually are calling us Yankees to our faces.

Rebeca, now from Charleston

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Dear Rebeca

I have been checking into your situation, this is BIG STUFF!

First, you will never fit into the Charleston scene as a Charlestonite, you have to be born there of a native family stock to be a genuine Charlestonite. This lets your son out of that too, regardless of his behavior.

Your son may fit in a little better if when he marries, he can marry a Charlestonite. Although he will be a second class Charlestonite, that is almost as good as being the genuine Charlestonite as long as he stays married.

Your son will pick up some of those nice southern qualities if he hangs around those nice southern boys and put up with their guff. No gangs, no rowdies, none of anything like that.

He should learn to dance the waltz, address every lady as Ma'am, and in general be nice to the ladies. His dress should be fancy and 'Southern.'

Add to the list above, NEVER CUSS! That would help your hubby a lot right there.

And flying the southern flag would not be wanted, ever, from a Boston guy.

You might see what the now defunct Yahoo! Answers has to say about southern gentlemen (link). Stay away from Eric Clapton (YouTube link).

I hope this helps.

As always,

Dr. Jim

p.s. A lot of real Southern Men were whipped by their grandmas when they were little. Can your mother visit often? . Keep on, Dr. Jim


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